Um, I Was Distracted?

Man screaming into cell and gesturing at the wall: I’m beneath the fucking girl with her fucking panties around her ankles! How could you miss me?!

Outside civil courthouse
Miami-Dade, Florida

Overheard by: also standing beneath the coppertone ad

Posted on November 6, 2025
Creepsters, Florida, Gripes, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Possible Sexual Harassment

I Came to Glasgow on a Holiday of Self-Mortification

CSR on phone: Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I am French.

Percepta, Sauchiehall Street
Glasgow
Scotland

Posted on November 2, 2025
Customer Service, General Idiocy, Geography & History, On the phone, UK

You Think until Thanksgiving?

Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?

Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 2, 2025
Advice, Animals, Coworkers, Crazies, Death, Family, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Time Management

What a Fulozer

CSR on phone: And what size product do you have?
Customer: Where do I find that?
CSR: It should be on the front of the label, probably on the bottom.
Customer: No, it’s not there. All it says there is ‘Eight fulozos.’
CSR: Uh… Do you mean ‘Eight fluid ounces’?
Customer: No… It says ‘Fulozos.’

1905 Aston Avenue
Carlsbad, California

Posted on October 30, 2025
California, Customer Service, Customer Support, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, On the phone

… I Seem to Have Lost Possession of It

Cell phone technician: This is Mariah*, how can I help you?
Customer: Yes ma’am, I just bought the Sony Exorcism phone, and…

7111 N Prince Street
Clovis, New Mexico

Overheard by: it’s a sony ERICSSON!!!! LMAO

Posted on October 28, 2025
Customer Service, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, New Mexico, On the phone, Words

Reagan: The Hidden Diaries

Employee on phone: Did you poop? Did you poop today? Will you poop with me when I get home? Okay, we’ll poop together when I get home.

New York, New York

Posted on October 22, 2025
New York, On the phone, Questions, Restroom

She Was Breast-Feeding, You Sicko

Coworker on phone: And I like them already, they seem pretty cool. Nothing like starting my day with a cute chick showing me her boob.

Alpharetta, Georgia

Overheard by: i wanna see!

Posted on October 12, 2025
Body Parts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Georgia, Hiring & Firing, On the phone

But not While Practicing; We’ve Had Very Mixed Results with That

Account manager on phone: How can she be a virgin? She’s a doctor! Would you want your doctor to be a virgin? I think by law, you should have to have sex before you are able to practice medicine.

171 Nepean
Ottawa, Ontario

Overheard by: Smithout