On the phone

Lady on phone: Girrrl, you done sound like an apple pie that’s been baked!

Evanston, Wyoming

Your Editors Were Shock-G-ed to See How Long Ago That Was

Business analyst on phone: Hey, what do you need? The name of the user guide? It's the digital one… No, the digital guide. You know, like Digital Underground, only without Tupac… No, biggie wasn't in Digital Underground… Humpty Hump was… No, the guy with the gold nose… Okay, it's “h”… “u”… “m”…

Chantilly, Virginia

Overheard by: CubeRat

Coworker on phone to husband: We have to start hiding that camera from her. Yeah, yeah… You want me to beat her? Honey, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding! You know I never beat the kids.

14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California

Overheard by: Sara

Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

Lamar Overland Park
Kansas

Overheard by: Needs A Drink

Female suit to vendor on phone: Oh my god, I've been calling you nonstop. I'm like a girl in a white dress at her wedding, and her groom isn't there, and she's been calling him for two hours. That's how I feel.

Union Square
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Julie

Female coworker on phone: For lack of a better word, “pop art,” you know, like that banana picture you have.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Joy

Coworker on phone: I don't want to know, dude. It's like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don't want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.

Boca Raton, Florida

Manager on phone: Yeah, I’ve got a little apartment on the gay side of the French quarter. Sometimes in the morning I have to beat them off to get out my doorway.

4621 West Napoleon Avenue
Metairie, Louisiana

Overheard by: PeauxBoy

Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.

Staten Island, New York

Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama