CSR: Did you look at the fax machine?
Tech: Yes, it’s gorgeous!
203 Floral Vale Boulevard
Yardley, Pennsylvania
CSR: Did you look at the fax machine?
Tech: Yes, it’s gorgeous!
203 Floral Vale Boulevard
Yardley, Pennsylvania
IT: My vibrator doesn’t work; I think it’s worn out…On my phone! On my phone! The vibrate function on my phone doesn’t work! Oh, god.
140 Research Boulevard
Madison, Alabama
Overheard by: map ref 41n 93w
User: My computer won’t turn on.
Tech: The tower is missing. How do you expect to use a computer someone stole?
User: Well, they left the keyboard, mouse and monitor. Is that something?
498 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Tech: You can’t save with Adobe Reader. You have to have Professional to save what you enter in the form.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: Yes, but in Reader. You have to have Professional.
Sales Assistant: So I can’t save?
Tech: Right.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: That doesn’t matter. You still can’t save the form.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: In Reader. You have to have Professional to save the data you enter in the form. Reader won’t let you save changes to a PDF.
Sales Assistant: Okay. But I have 6.0. Why can’t I save with that?
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Analyst: It’s ten minutes ’til beer o’ clock!
535 Routes 6 & 209
Milford, Pennsylvania
Secretary: Something’s wrong with my computer. I think it’s broken.
IT: Your monitor is off.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Programmer #1: How do I turn on logging in the web application?
Programmer #2: Talk dirty to it.
5450 Tech Center Drive
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Staff: Hey, can one of you help me fix–
IT: Go away before I replace you with a very small shell script.
7117 Florida Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: CP
Assistant: How about an update on the report for the database we talked about last week? Have you gotten to that yet?
IT: I’m not sure which one you’re talking about.
Assistant: Well, currently there is a cross-tab that displays home addresses and a cross-tab that displays financial aid, but we need a report to show us the student records by state with home address, and we need a find-sort for all students with financial aid and a hold on their account.
IT guy: …Um, I couldn’t tell where that sentence began and where it ended.
Dean’s assistant: Neither could I.
633 Main Street
Burlington, Vermont
Front Desk: What does code 99499 mean?
Coder: “You’re a dirty whore.”
Front Desk: They have codes for that?
675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois
