Michigan

Red-faced manager: Frozen again! God fucking dammit! Jesus fucking Christ! I'm getting really fucking pissed off at this motherfucking computer!
Nonchalant passerby: Kick it, then.

Plymouth, Michigan

Admin assistant to African American maintenance guy: Hey, what was that 17 inch black thing you said you needed?

Inkster, Michigan

Overheard by: Wish I hadn't heard it

Boss: So, what do you like about working here?
Employee: Well, I really like that working here, you have your hands on the pulse of campus.
Boss: I'm sorry, did you say “the balls of campus”?

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Didshereallythinkshesaidthat?

Coworker: I’m leaving early, y’all. I ripped my pants, and I can’t work with my vagina hanging out.

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Up against her for a promotion

Bank teller: I was working drive-through this morning and offered a customer a bone for her dog in the back seat.
Associate: I think it’s nice that we do that.
Bank teller: The customer said it wasn’t a dog, it was her mother.

801 West Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan

Employee #1: It only stays smooth like a baby’s bottom for about 12 hours.
Employee #2: Maybe… And you’ve got to lube it up pretty good.

1200 Woodward Heights
Ferndale, Michigan

Redhead peon: I think I’m getting a migraine.
Blonde peon: Well, like… At least your butt’s not peeling!

44135 5 Mile Road
Plymouth, Michigan

Receptionist #1: I can’t believe I’ll be in England next week. I think we might drive to Australia, too — they have better beaches.
Receptionist #2: Is that far?
Receptionist #1: No, I think it’s a two-hour drive from here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Not Even Kidding

Physical therapist: … So he drove all the way down here, and I didn’t even get his clothes off. We’ve just been back there talking the whole time.

1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Which kind of therapy?

Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.

University
Eastern Michigan