Professor: For example, say I give this woman a hundred-dollar bill… No, that's not a good example. Say I give her a mug of hot lava…
Stevens Tech
Hoboken, New Jersey
Professor: For example, say I give this woman a hundred-dollar bill… No, that's not a good example. Say I give her a mug of hot lava…
Stevens Tech
Hoboken, New Jersey
Manager #1: Are you sure you don’t need anything more? We’ve got the extra money to spend.
Manager #2: Haven’t you heard? I’m cheap and easy. It doesn’t take much to please me.
Peon: That’s what I read on the intranet last week.
5442 Martway Street
Mission, Kansas
Overheard by: Office Gnome
Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.
Levittown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Flynn
T-shirt: Why are you wearing a suit?
Suit: I had court this morning.
T-shirt: Traffic Court? Did you pay a fine?
Suit: Yeah, Traffic Court. The fine was five hundred dollars.
T-shirt: You should have worn a different suit. That one looks like it cost about forty dollars.
Suit: I paid seven hundred dollars for this.
T-shirt: You got ripped off.
Suit: Well whoever’s been giving you that piece of shit baseball brim haircut the last year has been ripping you off.
T-shirt: I wear a toupee.
2211 N. First Street
San Jose, California
Overheard by: daimaoh
Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No.
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.
238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts
At the end of Take Your Kids to Work Day…
Bruno*: Everything is askew! Where’s my weedbag? I’ve got some quarters missing. Damn thieving kids.
222 North Lasalle
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker: I received your collections file for the $57,700.00 claim. Have you run an asset check on this lady to see if she has anything we can file suit against?
Male coworker: No. When I spoke to her she sounded barefoot, pregnant, and poor. Like she was living with someone else.
Female coworker: I didn't realize you could get all of that from someone's voice.
Male coworker: I'm crunk. I'm good.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not Crunk
Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.
30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Greg Case
