Attorney on phone: Well, I’m really sorry you’re going to jail. But you still need to pay our bill.

110 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Odd

President of law firm: Well, in these tough economic times, it's great to know that there's a billable lining to every dark cloud.

Richmond, Virginia

Professor: For example, say I give this woman a hundred-dollar bill… No, that's not a good example. Say I give her a mug of hot lava…

Stevens Tech
Hoboken, New Jersey

Manager #1: Are you sure you don’t need anything more? We’ve got the extra money to spend.
Manager #2: Haven’t you heard? I’m cheap and easy. It doesn’t take much to please me.
Peon: That’s what I read on the intranet last week.

5442 Martway Street
Mission, Kansas

Overheard by: Office Gnome

Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.

Levittown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Flynn

Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don't live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.

Provo, Utah

Overheard by: Chris Lumo

T-shirt: Why are you wearing a suit?
Suit: I had court this morning.
T-shirt: Traffic Court? Did you pay a fine?
Suit: Yeah, Traffic Court. The fine was five hundred dollars.
T-shirt: You should have worn a different suit. That one looks like it cost about forty dollars.
Suit: I paid seven hundred dollars for this.
T-shirt: You got ripped off.
Suit: Well whoever’s been giving you that piece of shit baseball brim haircut the last year has been ripping you off.
T-shirt: I wear a toupee.

2211 N. First Street
San Jose, California

Overheard by: daimaoh

Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No.

6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California

HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.

238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts

At the end of Take Your Kids to Work Day…

Bruno*: Everything is askew! Where’s my weedbag? I’ve got some quarters missing. Damn thieving kids.

222 North Lasalle
Chicago, Illinois