Money

Manager #1: I don’t feel like working today.
Manager #2: So why don’t you go home?
Manager #1: ‘Cause I don’t get paid to do nothing at home….

3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Cathie

AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Salesman: Well, I worked my way up from a mechanic to a salesman, but I’m still treated like the low man on the scrotum pole.

625 Spring Street
Reading, Pennsylvania

Customer: Hi, can I get hold of Czech crowns here?
Bank flunky: Uhh…What was his first name again?

ASB Bank, Great North Road
Auckland, New Zealand

Guy coworker: So I know after they've wiped out the rest of my truck, these thieves are thinking, “We can even steal these $3 sunglasses and pawn them for at least a portion of a rock!”
Girl coworker: Rocks are free, dumbass!

Lewisville, Texas

Overheard by: entertained by others' ignorance

Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.

444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York

Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.

11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Paul

Manager: Yeah, so at this new salon I can get my hair highlighted for $120, and that includes the shampoo, haircut, and blow job.

Bethesda, Maryland

Co-worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co-worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.

4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Guy #1: If you lost my knife, so help me god you owe me $14.99. Plus shipping and handling.
Guy #2: Okay, so…we'll just deduct that from the eighty bucks you already owe me?
Guy #1: Statute of limitations. That bet was, like, five months ago.
Guy #2: Yeah, and we agreed that you'd owe me interest if you didn't pay me…
Guy #1 (incredulous): Interest? Was I *drunk*?
Guy #2: Well, it was at 8 am on a Tuesday. So you never know.

Stamford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Dave Eugene