Money

Boss: Make sure you wear something nice like that skirt you had on last weekend.
DJ: But what if it’s cold outside this weekend?
Boss: Doesn’t matter…the Army guys will pull more recruits if you broadcast in something a little revealing. Plus they paid a lot of money for this remote.

1711 Ellis Drive
Valdosta, Georgia

Overheard by: Todd McClure

Employee #1: Do you know how much these master cylinder gland nuts cost?
Employee #2: What,we are selling the gland nuts by themselves now? They are usually attached to the master cylinder…
Employee #3: I’d say gland nuts attachd to the master cylinder are priceless.

13601 FM 529
Houston, Texas

Copywriter: I was accosted by a woman with a French accent at the mall at lunch today.
Art Director: Really? How odd.
Copywriter: Yeah, she buffed my nails and I purchased her product. Only now am I remembering the accent as being fake.
Art Director: I had a run in with the cops over lunch.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Manager #1: I don’t feel like working today.
Manager #2: So why don’t you go home?
Manager #1: ‘Cause I don’t get paid to do nothing at home….

3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Cathie

AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Salesman: Well, I worked my way up from a mechanic to a salesman, but I’m still treated like the low man on the scrotum pole.

625 Spring Street
Reading, Pennsylvania

Customer: Hi, can I get hold of Czech crowns here?
Bank flunky: Uhh…What was his first name again?

ASB Bank, Great North Road
Auckland, New Zealand

Guy coworker: So I know after they've wiped out the rest of my truck, these thieves are thinking, “We can even steal these $3 sunglasses and pawn them for at least a portion of a rock!”
Girl coworker: Rocks are free, dumbass!

Lewisville, Texas

Overheard by: entertained by others' ignorance

Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.

444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York

Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.

11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Paul