Admin: Hey, Simon Wiesenthal died! Who’s he?
Suit: Oh, he hunted Nazis or something. Cool!
Admin: Cool that he died?
Suit: Cool that he’s in my dead pool!

1600 Broadway
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: C. O’ntracter

Associate #1: Well, you look nice today.
Associate #2: Stop being mean to me!

11755 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: AJ Feuerman

Secretary: I'm getting an iPad.
Office tech: Oh, don't get one! I need to tell you all about it.
Secretary: I don't want to hear it.
Office tech: You don't want to know my opinion?
Secretary: No, you bore me, and you can't afford one anyway.

Auburn, Indiana

Secretary: Oh wow, these are good.
Attorney: What are you eating?
Secretary: They are meatless meatballs.
Attorney: So essentially, you’re just eating balls.

1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC

Manager #1: Are you sure you don’t need anything more? We’ve got the extra money to spend.
Manager #2: Haven’t you heard? I’m cheap and easy. It doesn’t take much to please me.
Peon: That’s what I read on the intranet last week.

5442 Martway Street
Mission, Kansas

Overheard by: Office Gnome

Boss, sitting at peon's desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You're not ergonomically correct.

Des Moines, Iowa

Senior VP: Whassaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
VP: You're such a loser!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.

Noblesville, Indiana

Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.

Chantilly, Virginia

Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don't live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.

Provo, Utah

Overheard by: Chris Lumo