Guy: It took me two hours to shovel my driveway this morning.
Girl: Why don't you get a snow blower?
Guy: Because they're expensive.
Girl: Why don't you split it with your neighbor? Then you could take turns blowing each other.

Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: shovel buddy

Secretary #1: I am so cold I can't type.
Secretary #2: Wear your gloves.
Secretary #1: I can do a lot of things in leather, but typing isn't one of them.

Seattle, Washington

Male worker: Wow, it's cold! Another front is supposed to be moving through later this week, too.
Female office worker #1: It's not so bad, as long as I have a jacket on.
Female office worker #2: Yeah! Now I get to wear pants!

Carillon Center
St. Petersburg, Florida

Coworker #1: Doesn't Tanisha look a bit hot under the collar there?
Coworker #2: Must be the weather.
Coworker #1: I feel so sorry for black people, considering black attracts the sun and all.

Boston, Massachusetts

Office hoochie #1: Ow! It's cold in here today.
Office hoochie #2: Yeah, and where you sit, you get blowed from there, there, and there (points to ceiling)
Office hoochie #1: Yeah, I get blowed from all directions!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Getting in line!

Starbucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-something: Excuse me?
Starbucks barista: They sprinkle just a little bit of E in them… Next thing you know you're feeling up on yourself, then next thing you know you're naked.
20-something: Uhhh…
Starbucks barista: I'm high as balls right now, man.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: College Student

General manager: Folks, this year is going to be like The Perfect Storm. You know, that movie with Kevin Costner.
Sales rep #1, whispering: Was Kevin Costner even in that movie?
General manager: We can either ride it out or we can push to the crest of the tsunami!
Sales rep #1: Didn't people die in The Perfect Storm?
Sales rep #2: Yes.

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island

Production manager: I'm sorry, but Brad Pitt in Fight Club? That was the best he looked–with those abs that you didn't even know existed.
Editor: Like that eight ab right above his genitals?
Boss: Unlike my penis canopy?
Editor: Which shields it from sunlight and keeps it dry in the rain.

Brewster, New York

[Dead of winter.]Supervisor: Oh my god -short sleeves! Why didn’t you wear your coat?
Employee: I looked out the window and it didn’t look cold outside.

Dallas Parkway
Addison, Texas

Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Eddie