Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: Everything from the waist down is flushed!
Coworker #2: (laughs loudly)
Coworker #1: Seriously, though, it's all washed up–time to trade it in!
Storrs, Connecticut
Hispanic coworker to founder of company: Good afternoon!
Founder of company: Oh, hey! I didn't see you. You blend in with the furniture.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Tiz
Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I'm in you.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: a little small
Coworker: It was so good I licked my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!
441 East 12th Street
New York, NY
Male coworker: God, I love tomato soup! I would lick the bowl clean if I weren't worried about walking around the rest of the day looking like I just earned my “red wings”.
Female coworker: You can go ahead and lick it. We have napkins.
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Wowzers
Coworker: I can't touch that.
Manager, walking by: Whoah… Let him touch it!
Phoenix, Arizona
University maintenance worker, over walkie-talkie: I was just talking with Lisa, and she says she has like a weird smell in her room. So I was gonna ask if you could come over here and help me smell it.
Hawaii
Overheard by: It takes two people?
Loud man complaining to librarian: Can you turn the heat up or the air conditioning down? It's too cold in here. It might be fine for someone with type o blood, but I'm freezing!
Public Library
La Jolla, California
