The Cafe

Obese woman on mobility scooter, scowling: Whatever happened to rational soups?

Employee cafeteria
Salisbury, Maryland

Overheard by: minnie stronie

Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.

Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: are u kidding me?

Guy employee: So I read in the news today that drinking from Nalgene bottles while you’re pregnant may cause a miscarriage.
Girl employee: Oh my gosh! My best friend just had a miscarriage, and she drinks from a Nalgene bottle all the time!
Guy employee: See?

Tully’s Coffee, Union Station
Seattle, Washington

Coworker at bar: Shit, a degree doesn't mean anything! I'm dumber than a box of rocks and I have a degree!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.

Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby

Guy behind counter: I have a fetish for pre-creased items.

Café Boulange
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Lady peon: Oh my god, last night I saw the most confusingest movie ever.

Barnie’s Coffee and Tea
Jupiter, Florida

Overheard by: Bored Coffee Girl