Walking man: Hey, John.
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What?
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What are you, five? This is a professional office.
Sitting man: You fell for it.
Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dennis Carroll
Partner #1: Are you coming to the Fourth of July party?
Partner #2: When is it?
16th Street and M Street, NW
Washington, DC
Office-wide voicemail from IT person: Attention all H Street associates. The network will be down beginning at 10am…10pm…shit! [Hangs up]
1717 H Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Hamshank Houghmagandie
Paralegal: I hate looking at his face. Ruins my whole day.
Secretary: I know. I want to throw my shoe at him or something.
Paralegal: Ok, but can you make sure I’m there to see it?
overheard by: their boss
100 F Street
Washington, DC
Over the airport PA system: Attention K-Mart shoppers…
Main Terminal
Dulles Airport
Partner: I’m gonna call her and see if I can feel her up.
1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker #1: So how’s your belly button?
Co-worker #2: Um…it’s okay.
Co-worker #1: You know my dad’s scar looks like he has 3 belly buttons.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah? Well, my friend’s isn’t even in the right place. It’s like way down here.
Intern #1: So it’s like she has a extra vag?
Intern #2: This is like the weirdest thing I’ve heard at work.
600 Water Street SW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: ADS
Co-worker: You need to teach me Spanish and I need to teach you everything.
1341 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Assistant: Yeah, we need one of those industrial-sized–
Director: Oh, I know, you can shred a baby in one of those things!
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC
Attorney: We’re smarter for making the correct decision to the everyday question: drink or work? Correct answer: drink and work.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
