Manager: One of these days, I'm gonna stuff you with candy… I'm gonna hang you by your toes and beat you like a piñata.
Washington, DC
Manager: One of these days, I'm gonna stuff you with candy… I'm gonna hang you by your toes and beat you like a piñata.
Washington, DC
Employee #1, on boss's outfit: You look very “navy” today!
Retired officer: Yup, blue and gold all the way! You should see my underwear.
Employee #2: And now the conversation's over.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
HR Guru: The only person you can change is yourself–
Infidel: I keep trying that, but she’s still being a bitch!
2025 E St, NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bendystraw
Guy: This is about the time where I start feeling… not right. Like there’s something flowing through my body other than blood.
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Senior partner: What are you listening to? That’s some funky music.
Paralegal: Phish.
Senior partner: Oooh, Phish — I’ve heard of them but never heard them. Wow, they have a great sound.
Paralegal: Yeah, I really like them.
Senior partner, with fixed gaze: When you know someone listens to funky music, that can really tell you a lot about a person.
Washington, DC
Secretary: Oh wow, these are good.
Attorney: What are you eating?
Secretary: They are meatless meatballs.
Attorney: So essentially, you’re just eating balls.
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC
Counter girl: Did I tell you I almost got locked up last night?
Male customer: Fo’ what?
Counter girl: I took my homegirl’s car and rode over to my baby daddy’s momma house. Po-lice got me going through a light. I was like, “Shit, man, I got weed and a rock in my joint, and my shit’s suspended, yo.”
Male customer: That’s some Cops shit, girl!
Girl: Fo’ reals…But I worked my way out with a warning, got my baby, went home, and smoked that shit.
11th Street & F Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: suddenly not hungry
Black girl peon #1: That girl is so annoying. She is so happy all the time.
Black girl peon #2: I know, right? It’s like she has butterflies coming out of her mouth or something.
Washington, DC
Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Just tell him to call me on my mobile.
Employee: Okay.
Boss: Oh, wait, you’ve probably never heard of that since you’re not from New York. It’s the same thing as a cell phone.
2130 H Street NW
Washington, DC
