Coworker #1: So, your daughter’s learning to walk yet?
Coworker #2: Nah, not yet, but she can stand up, and she falls down the stairs real good.
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Yeah, she did that last night. Scared me real good.
Coworker #1: Eh, don’t worry. Once, I dropped mine from a good height. About three or four feet. I didn’t worry, ’cause she started laughing.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: scared of having children
Male administrator: So, are you a prostitute?
Female administrator: Excuse me?
Male administrator: It’s a line from that movie, Monster.
Female administrator: You can’t just go around saying things like that to people.
Male administrator: Oh. Well, I used to do it all the time at my old job.
Female administrator: Is that why you’re not working there anymore?
Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
HR employee: That’s not GI Joe… That’s Hitler!
National Geographic Offices
Washington, DC
Overheard by: CytoToxicBlade
Interview consultant: Always be aware of what you are saying during an interview. I have seen interviews fall apart over a single word.
Student: Like what word?
Interview consultant: The word was fuck.
4801 Mass. Ave NW, Washington DC, American University, Washington College of Law
Washington, DC
Bookstore clerk: Prose? I thought that was a kind of poetry.
Bookstore, Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Intern #1: So is there a difference between homogenous and homogeneous?
Intern #2: Yes, one means “composed of one thing,” and the other is, like, a gay Einstein or something.
Rayburn House Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the Best and the Brightest
Tourist: What is this special wine deal you have tonight?
Waitress: Well, it’s 5-dollar Italian wine night, so any wine that is made in Italy is 5 dollars. But we are out of Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio.
Tourist: Well, I guess I’ll have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
Waitress: We’re out of that. Anything else.
Tourist: Then I’ll have a glass of Pinot Grigio.
17th and P Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: guy at another table
Co-Worker #1: Don’t say “big business.” They’ll just write us off as anti-corporate crazies.
Co-Worker #2: But we are anti-corporate crazies.
Pause.
Co-Worker #1: Yes…but we don’t want to be written off as anti-corporate crazies nonetheless.
1700 Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: ECO
Walking man: Hey, John.
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What?
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What are you, five? This is a professional office.
Sitting man: You fell for it.
Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dennis Carroll
Partner #1: Are you coming to the Fourth of July party?
Partner #2: When is it?
16th Street and M Street, NW
Washington, DC
