Washington DC

Middle-aged man #1 on speakerphone: You’re a poo-poo head.
Middle-aged man #2: Well, you’re a pu-pu platter!

Dupont Circle
Washington, DC

Manager to another: Just because you're honest doesn't mean you're not a dick.

Washington, DC

Exec #1 to exec #2: Does it matter if there's more than one person?
Exec #2: No, I'll just jiggle them around. Let me know who and I'll start jiggling.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: officedrone

Federal employee to coworker in ladies’ room: Darlene, how long is a dog pregnant?

L’Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Just a contractor

Male boss to female receptionist: Don’t worry about it. Your finger just got excited, is all.

1120 G Street NW
Washington, DC

Timid 20-year-old: Excuse me, ma’am…
Sassy 30-year-old: I know you didn’t just ‘Ma’am’ me!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Coworker: Hey, how was your weekend?
Intern: Great! It’s stopped itching and– [Coworker walks away.]

Washington, DC

Coworker #1: Let me tell you my big cannoli story! (coworker #2 giggles) No, it's not dirty.

Government Office
Washington, DC

Marketing director: Eighty percent of what we do is called ‘wasting time.’

Massachusetts Avenue NE
Washington, DC

Boss: Are you cranky because you fell into the toilet?

601 E Street NW
Washington, DC