Older male student records assistant on phone: Does the word “Firefox” mean anything to you?
Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Older male student records assistant on phone: Does the word “Firefox” mean anything to you?
Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
FBI agent: Excuse me, I’m an investigator for the FBI. I would like a copy of a student’s transcript.
Registrar: Ok. You need to pay a $7 transcript fee.
FBI agent: Uh. I don’t think I need to pay that. I’m an investigator for the FBI.
Registrar: Everybody has to pay for a transcript.
FBI agent: I think I will have to speak to your supervisor.
Registrar: I’m sorry, but that’s what the sign says.
John Jay College of Criminal Justice, 10th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Waiting next in line
Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Student: You haven't lived until you've failed out of school at least once.
BOCES
Bellport, New York
Overheard by: So thats why you're in Boces!
Teen boy: I want you to keep writing for the school newspaper. You can be our foreign correspondent!
Teen girl: Foreign? I’m not foreign just because I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the other side of Scarborough, and you’re saying I might as well be in Bolivia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.
Ontario Universities’ Fair, Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: made me laugh
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.
Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Student: This question doesn't make sense.
Professor: What do you expect? I'm not Goldilocks.
Every single student: What?
Professor: What? You're Goldilocks! You all are Goldilocks.
University of Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: All Three Bears
Supervisor: Was this class as bad I thought?
Female cop, leaving seminar, about instructor: He likes to say 'quick and dirty' way too much and the dude rambles like a drunk riding a bicycle.
Louisiana State Police Head Quarters
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: i snuck out early, too
Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
