Offers and requests

Blonde mom returning to the workforce: Can you help me send a fax?
Office coworker: Sure, what do you need help with?
Mom: Well, I need to send out this fax, but I also need to keep a copy of it, how do I do that?

Northwestern Highway
Southfield, Michigan

Clued-out senior manager on phone with lawyer: I just want a translation of the document. It's written all in French. I'm from Ontario, we don't speak the language here. (pause) Well, I just want the gist of the document. I think he's suing us for defamation of character. (pause) The guy's a jerk.


Overheard by: Cue

Salesperson over intercom: Justin, will you please get out of the happiness place?

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: dolly

Agitated man on phone: Put him in the truck, put him in the truck! Just put him in the truck and drive somewhere!


Guard to woman, as metal detector beeps at her: Please step over here, ma'am.
Woman: I don't carry sharp objects on me…except my wit.
Guard: Please.

LAX Security Check-In
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: 2Aron

Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: I’m looking for a red wine.
Employee: Cabernet, pinot noir, shiraz?
Customer: No, I want a red wine.

1017 East Main Street
Radford, Virginia

Coworker #1, dropping summer sausage for lunch: Hey, you want some of my sausage?
Coworker #2: Only if you wash it off first.

Bourbonnais, Illinois

Overheard by: the closet is my office

Nurse to paramedic pushing stretcher and IV pole: Would you like me to guide your pole?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Deena

Admin: Can I go home after we’ve finished this bit? I don’t usually work long Fridays.
Boss: I’ve got two nephews to buy presents for and then decide what to wear for a pimps and hos party after this, and you think you’ve got problems?

Brighton, United Kingdom

Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.

950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida