Waitress: I don’t want any sauce touching me… Unless it’s being licked off of me.
1027 West Horsetooth Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Waitress: I don’t want any sauce touching me… Unless it’s being licked off of me.
1027 West Horsetooth Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Bimbo: She really didn’t betray him other than sleeping with someone else.
1300 Riverside Avenue
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: dazed and confused
Frustrated employee: I’m gonna build a robot named Microchip, and it’s going to look like a microchip and it’s going to kill people.
1025 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: D
Girl standing in smoking section: So he found this video of this dumb blonde girl. I can't believe it, she was from Norwegian or something like that.
Evans, Colorado
Overheard by: Princess
Admin: Hey, Simon Wiesenthal died! Who’s he?
Suit: Oh, he hunted Nazis or something. Cool!
Admin: Cool that he died?
Suit: Cool that he’s in my dead pool!
1600 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: C. O’ntracter
Old maid boss: Do you have a boner over there?
Young male worker, confused: I’m sorry, what?
Old maid boss: A boner. For folding paper [holds up knife]. Do you have one?
Young male worker: How can you seriously be calling it that? I know you know what that means.
Old maid boss: No, I know you need one if you don’t have one. I’ll get another one.
Young male worker: I know you know what that means. I know you know what that means. I don’t want anything to do with it.
6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Chick: Sometimes I chew with my mouth open just for effect.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: aireiq
Crime scene tech, teaching a class: No, semen doesn't last. The sperm do. It's really hard to get rid of them, even after a few days. It's those tough little heads. You could put the clothes in the laundry and still find some. So…sorry ladies.
Las Vegas Street
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.
S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado
Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.
6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado
