Colorado

Chick: Sometimes I chew with my mouth open just for effect.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: aireiq

Crime scene tech, teaching a class: No, semen doesn't last. The sperm do. It's really hard to get rid of them, even after a few days. It's those tough little heads. You could put the clothes in the laundry and still find some. So…sorry ladies.

Las Vegas Street
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.

S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado

Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.

6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado

Manager: I’m sorry that was a dumb question, I just didn’t have enough to eat before lunch.

1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado

Diner: Well, you know, when she was young she just liked to sleep with dead animals under her pillow.

Denver, Colorado

Coworker, looking for food: Can I go through your drawers and find something to snack on?

Englewood, Colorado

Worker bee: It’s like he’s a totally different person. I’m not sure if it’s him or if he’s been taken over by aliens. I keep checking him for anal probes.

Denver, Colorado

Gorgeous admin on phone with employee, while looking for e-mail: Oh, I just found it… It went straight to my junk!

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Wish I Was That Email

Female coworker, in singsong voice: Somebody was a yanker!

Boulder, Colorado