Metro Northeast

Techie, answering phone: Hello, this is Brenda*…No, I wasn’t just speaking to someone on the phone… I’m positive; I work in IT so I rarely talk to anyone.

100 Sylvan Road
Woburn, Massachusetts

Overheard by: June Bug

Tech support: Can you tell if it’s an Ethernet cable or a phone cable?
Customer: How do I tell?
Tech support: Well, if you hold it up to the cable attached to your phone and you look at the plug, if it looks the same, you’ve got a phone cable. If it’s bigger, it’s probably Ethernet.
Customer: Oh cool. Let me look.
Tech support: WAIT! [dial tone]

711 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Drone #1: Hey, where were you Saturday night? The ladies were all up on this.
Drone #2: I went to a birthday party.
Drone #1: Hehehehe… What a dumb waste of time. Whose birthday party was it?
Drone #2: Mine.
Drone #1: Oh… Happy birthday.

377 South Oyster Bay Road
Plainview, New York

Overheard by: tonyg

Manager #1: So, what do we do if any of our employees don’t show up for the mandatory Ethics Training?
VP: You direct them to the supplemental Ethics Training, online.
Manager #2: Couldn’t we just write their names in on the sign-in sheet and say that they were at the ethics thing?

Melville, New York

Bookstore clerk: Prose? I thought that was a kind of poetry.

Bookstore, Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Doctor Whom

Employer walking into the office: President Clinton is downstairs on Wacker Drive, but I think you girls will be safe if you just stay inside.

150 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Office manager: Civil War Battlefield Protection, how can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, I’m trying to find information on the Civil War and I just can’t.
Office manager: Well, have you tried the internet?
Woman: Yes, I typed "Civil War" into Google and NOTHING comes up on the Civil War.
Office manager: …Really?
Woman: Yes… so can you tell me who was in the Civil War?
Office manager: That would be the northern states and the southern states.
Woman: Not the British?
Office manager: Um, that was the Revolutionary War.

13th Street & H Street
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Astonished

Employee #1: Yeah, so PETA has helped me understand the cruelty animals are subjected to by humans.
Employee #2: I’ve seen some of the videos. Heinous.
Employee #1: Like that shirt you’re wearing, it’s made of cotton, right? You shouldn’t be wearing it.
Employee #2: Huh? Why not?
Employee #1: It really hurts the sheep when they are shorn.

Bed Bath & Beyond
Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Debauched Angel

Attorney: Hey Jordan*, what have you done for me lately?
Jordan: Nothing, actually.
Attorney: Anything you do for the boss, you do for me!
Jordan: Well in that case, I’ve been avoiding your phone calls lately.

4 Times Square
New York, New York

Overheard by: Just looking…

Cashier #1: It’s my ten month anniversary today!
Cashier #2: That’s a long time.
Cashier #1: I know, half of a year!

640 5th Avenue
New York, New York