Temp: Apparently he eats his cat’s leftovers.
140 West 45th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: another temp
Temp: Apparently he eats his cat’s leftovers.
140 West 45th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: another temp
Male supervisor: Give Janet* one of those chocolate pretzel things. Because she’s going on vacation and doesn’t have to fit into a bathing suit this weekend.
Janet*, aside: I swear, random people have been coming up to me all day asking about my supposed nude beach trip to Jamaica.
Male supervisor: Let it all hang out, baby.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Executive #1: We will never promote her. She is fucked up. Did you see her at the company picnic with her son?
Executive #2: No. What happened?
Executive #1: She was breastfeeding him!
Executive #2: So what?
Executive #1: He’s like 5 years old!
Pause
Executive #2: When is the next picnic?
1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
Teacher: That’s an interesting name. It is a type of flower right?
Student: Yeah, but I am a hard flower. I am so tough, I am almost a weed.
1001 SW Avenue M
Belle Glade, Florida
Overheard by: substitute
Man on cell: You’re just a social maggot. [Sweetly] Just a social magnet, that’s what I meant to say.
2 Clock Tower Place
Maynard, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1: Wanna go eat lunch with us? We’re having Ethiopian.
Co-worker #2: Ew! You’re going to be eating beetles and shit.
Co-worker #3: Do we have to bring our own leaf to eat off of?
214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Employee, loudly and angrily into walkie: I am implementing customer service now!
620 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Male bather: Oww! That dog just scratched my nipple!
Female groomer: Now you know why we wear boulder-holders.
92-12 Liberty Avenue
Ozone Park, New York
Female manager: Where did you eat?
Male manager: My guilty secret…McDonald’s!
Female manager: Oh. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…I actually don’t know anybody who’s eaten at a McDonald’s.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Visiting salesgirl: Hi, I’m here to see Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: Do you mean Carrie Schwartz?
Visiting salesgirl: No, I’m pretty sure her name was Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: We don’t have a Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw is from Sex and the City.
245 5th Avenue
New York, New York
