Cubicles

Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?

117th St
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: The other nerd

Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Feisty secretary: Man, could that man spit!

Newcastle, Delaware

Overheard by: What else could he do?

Annoying cubette: So I say to him: “Look at Lucy*’s toes. Now look at John*’s toes.” And he’s like: “What?” And then he looks and sees he’s got seven of them and he’s like: “Wahhhh!”
Sane cubette: How many cats do you have?

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: intern in the next cube

Female office dolt: Oh my god! I need to put my sweater away before I get fined!

Water Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Cubicle Gnome

Woman in cubicle on call with overseas agent: Oh, hello… were you in Slumdog Millionaire?
Confused customer service agent: What?

Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: poking my eyes out with my pen

Office girl #1: Anyway, that's how this giant hoo-hah got started in the first place.
(snickering comes from nearby cubicles)
Office girl #1: What? Did I use the wrong word?
Office girl #2: Well, that depends on what you're talking about.
Boss man: I think you mean 'hoopla,” but you basically just said “giant vagina.”

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: freudianflip

Cubicle mate on phone: Yeah, that’s so me. Wait, now what is this called? Well I’d rather be a dog walker than a porn star!

Topeka, Kansas

Purchasing manager: Can I borrow a pencil?
Receptionist: No. If you don’t come prepared, I ain’t helping you.

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Girl #1: Well, you know I like to get kinky.
Girl #2: Oh, I know.
Girl #1: I’ve never had a threesome, but I would do it. I have ground rules, of course, but I’d totally be down for a menagerie.

Andover Park West
Tukwila, Washington

Overheard by: Cat