Advice

Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?

1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York

Supervisor: We have to use E. G.
Co-worker: “E. G.”?
Supervisor: Yeah, engineering judgment.

20000 Rotunda Drive
Dearborn, Michigan

Co-worker #1: So, I think I have decided to give up caffeine. But I can’t decide if I should give up liquid caffeine, or sugar caffeine.
Co-worker #2: You should give up the liquid kind.
Co-worker #1: Does that mean I have to give up my coffee in the mornings?
Co-worker #2: Naw, just cut back on the amount of pop you drink.

6700 Antioch Road
Overland Park, Kansas

Boss: Make sure you wear something nice like that skirt you had on last weekend.
DJ: But what if it’s cold outside this weekend?
Boss: Doesn’t matter…the Army guys will pull more recruits if you broadcast in something a little revealing. Plus they paid a lot of money for this remote.

1711 Ellis Drive
Valdosta, Georgia

Overheard by: Todd McClure

Co-worker #1: I’m really tired this morning.
Co-worker #2: Why don’t you try Red Bull?
Co-worker #1: That stuff doesn’t work for me.
Co-worker #2: Well, have you ever tried it without the vodka?

2783 Lancashire Road
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

Owner: You’ve got to tell me these things. I don’t know everything that’s going on…you’d be surprised at what I don’t know.

2100 Goshen Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.

The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.

Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.

1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY

Harried mom coworker on phone: Oh, and stay off the roof, and don’t play with the sulfuric acid!

Warwick Boulevard
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: Next desk over

Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.

245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Cube guy #1: Yeah, you should go to the overseas office if you get a chance, they treat you real nice there.
Cube guy #2: Really?
Cube guy #1: Yeah, they were real good to me.
Cube guy #2: Yeah? They give you the reach-around?
Supervisor, walking by on the way to his office: What?

Austin, Texas