Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!
123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont
Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!
123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont
Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’
1111 Broadway
Oakland, California
Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.
535 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Angie Rowe
Boss to newbie: Yay! So, tomorrow’s Casual Friday, so you don’t have to wear a tie. I usually wear shorts. You know, you can get away with a lot of casual clothing, but a certain dress code does still apply. You’ve got to wear a shirt… Although, so far no one has tried a wife beater. Hey, that’d be a way for you to make a name for yourself!
Glastonbury Boulevard
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Coworker to another: Wiggle it and I'll tell you which one it is.
Chesapeake, Virginia
Geek: I hate to break it to you, but surfers don’t wear coats.
William Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Misanthropic Scott
UPS guy to mailroom guy: You should really consider using FedEx.
Brooklyn, New York
Team manager to sales rep: Girl, you just gotta be comfortable. You gotta be easy!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Coworker on phone: I believe the court will look unfavorably at you getting arrested, yes… Well, yeah, obviously a misdemeanor would be better than a felony… I am not saying it’s okay. I’m saying that the court tends to sort of get pissed off at you when you get arrested at all, but it’s even worse when you get arrested for a felony-level offense. What do you mean, you’re not planning on getting caught? You’re asking me about what your chances would be of getting your kids back if you got arrested… I’m pretty sure that’s a felony. And no, I don’t think the court will be lenient with you if you say you hold the drugs to make money to get your kids back. Not the criminal court or our court… Um, that’s definitely a crime. Okay. Bye [hangs up]… How weird is it that I felt like there was nothing wrong with that conversation until after I got off the phone with her?
425 Shatto Place
Los Angeles, California
