Engineers

Senior engineer: Drop it down hard, and if it comes up, grab it.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Pip

Engineer #1: I’m going to head back to where I’ve been working. Nobody knows where it is. I call it my happy place.
Engineer #2: Take a muffin!
Engineer #1: Nice! I just want half, though.
Engineer #2: Don’t take half! Take the whole thing. [To Engineer #3] Stick the rest of that muffin in your happy place.
Engineer #3: That’s disgusting.

The Loop
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Nic

Engineer to secretary: I don't want to be accused of misplacing nine years of your life!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: 812

Crotchety old engineer: That's the best-looking hermaphrodite I ever saw!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Conservative Italian Stallion

Architect: There's too much…there are too many people thinking around here.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Engineer: How much longer will you be using those prints?
Safety Manager: Five minutes.
Engineer: What if I borrow them for three minutes and then give them back to you?
Safety Manager: I’d say yes, but you won’t give them back in three minutes. So, no, you can’t borrow them.
Engineer: You’re so much like your dad, it’s not even funny.

186 Gilman Avenue
Campbell, California

Overheard by: Shannon

Engineer to another: What'd you just say? My ass is grass? And you're the lawnmower?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: jt

Engineer #1: So how’s it going?
Engineer #2: Crazy. Completely crazy. Why’d you ask?
Engineer #1: Because I care, dumbass.

500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: really touched

Project manager: Can you look over a doc for me?
Engineer #1: Not right now. I'm reading about bestiality.
Engineer #2: What? Dude… Share the link!
Engineers #3 and #4: Yeah!

Alpharetta, Georgia

Engineer, to the HR director: Just in case you get a phone call about it later, I wasn’t trying to look at gay porn on my computer.

Farmers Branch, Texas