Technology

Co-worker #1: So do you think the developers can hit this target?
Co-worker #2: I mean the bar is so low how can they not?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I suppose even people in the Special Olympics can make it over this one.

10866 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Bored tech guy: Can I help you?
Bimbette: Yeah, um, I need an update on my anti-Semitic virus program.
Bored tech guy: You mean ‘Symantec’?
Bimbette: Yeah, that’s what I said — anti-Semitic.

Quinnipiac University
Hamden, Connecticut

Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Reception

Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?

Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California

Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?

Sydney
Australia

Producer: Hey Nick, let’s hook this up ASPA.

355 W. 52nd Street
New York, NY

Employee: My headset for my phone doesn’t work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh…you see what’s wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line…so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won’t get all caught up.

11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska

Woman trainer: The system is down today. I think I might go get a mammogram instead of working.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Patrick

Drone #1: This is one thing I didn’t miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don’t they have them in West Virginia?

175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio