Chick #1: Did anybody ever tell you that you look like a penis when you wear that hood?
Chick #2: I do not!
Chick #3: You should see her when she runs in that hood. Then she really looks like a penis…
Chick #2: Penises don’t run!
Saint Francis University
Loretto, Pennsylvania
Third grader: Teacher, Tameka* is being nasty.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Third grader: I asked Eric* to use his dictionary, and she started laughing.
Teacher: Which means…?
Third grader: She was thinking something nasty.
Teacher: You mean, you can read her mind?
Third grader: I don’t know how to explain…
Teacher: Did she say anything out loud?
Third grader: No, but she was thinking nasty stuff.
2351 East Redwood Road
Ceres, California
Overheard by: an observing teacher
Chemistry student: You know what? Every year I hear about global warming, and then, like, three months later, it gets cold again!
Class: [Stunned silence.]
Parkland High School
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Out-Of-Here-In-Six-Months
Sophomore: Dude, I really want a taco right now, but it’s early in the morning…
Friend, leaning in: Nah, that depends on what kind of taco you’re talking about. There are different kind of tacos… Heh, heh, you know what I mean?
Sophomore: Dude, shut up!
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: thanks Captain Obvious
German teacher: Well, we’re going to have to relocate to another classroom for a while. It seems there’s a rat problem in this one.
Student: Are you going to gas them?
Glenunga International High School
Adelaide, South Australia
TA: Okay, I want you all to close your eyes and imagine a woman. Now, what does she look like? Give me features.
Student #1: She has dark hair.
TA: Okay, good. Anything else?
Student #2, enthusiastically: She’s naked!
301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California
High school girl: I’m gonna name a cheese after you, Mr. L.*!
Mr. L.: If you actually had the power to do that, I’d be very flattered.
West Santa Clara Street
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: The Know It All
Girl: I don’t know, I just hate it when they mixed the coloreds and the whites.
Random passerby: What?
Girl, loudly: What? Ohhh! I mean Christmas lights! I swear. I like houses that are all decorated the same way.
Friend: Just stop talking.
Girl: I am such a dipshit.
43 Leonard Street
Belmont, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i was confused too
Student studying energy, to another: Do you think this a controlled or uncontrolled nuclear erection?
International School of Milan
Milan
Itlay
Chick: ‘Cause, you know, if you’re fucking a guy and you need, say, 10 or 20 dollars, he should give it to you, no questions asked.
880 Roosevelt Boulevard
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Norcross
