Girl #1: Um, where is your baby?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Your baby — where is it?
Girl #2: Shit.
Girl #1: You forgot it, didn’t you? You know those things have computer chips in them that register every time it cries or burps or poops, right? Your grade depends on that chip’s happiness!
Girl #2: Um, I think I left it in my boyfriend’s truck… since Thursday.
Home Economics class, Ironwood High School
Tucson, Arizona
Girl: I don’t care! I am all for police brutality. Seriously! I don’t care!
900 University Avenue
Riverside, California
Overheard by: i live too close to los angeles
High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.
High school
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student
College boy #1: She’s engaged now.
College boy #2: What?!
College boy #1: Yeah, she just got engaged, like, a week ago.
College boy #2: That’s gay.
12th & Q Street
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Confused
Male geology TA: So yeah, I had this student in lab today who asked me, ‘So, are these minerals… are these, like, things that can be found, like, out there…? Like, in the real world?’
Female grad student: What? Really?
Male geology TA: Yeah, it just blew his mind that this stuff actually existed in the real world.
Geoscience department, University of Iowa
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: another grad student
Freshman #1: So I talked to my ex-girlfriend from high school this weekend. She’s totally changed and she’s dating this jerkish guy.
Freshman #2: Turkish, or jerk-ish?
Random chick turning around to join conversation: I hate Turkish people.
Freshman #1: Jerkish.
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: thinking she was armenian
Guy: How are you going to tell your mom that you didn’t do your homework because you have a gorilla fetish?
Girl: It’s not a fetish, I’m just curious about their… stuff.
Guy: It’s still fucked up.
Washington Avenue Bridge, University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Marketing professor: How many countries are in Africa? I’m going to go around the room, and each of you give me a number.
Student #1: 50?
Student #2: 62?
Student #3: 54?
Marketing professor to sorority girl: How many do you think?
Sorority girl: I thought Africa was a country.
Peoria, Illinois
Harvard MBA student: So, are you flying back tonight? What airport are you flying into? New York?
Suit: Why would we fly to New York? We’re from Philadelphia.
Harvard MBA student: I didn’t know Philadelphia had an airport.
Suit: It’s the fifth-largest city in the U.S., of course it has an airport.
Harvard MBA student: Largest city? Based on what?
Suit: Uh, population…
<br/Hotel elevator
Harvard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not hiring any MBAs
Professor: It smells like fall, doesn’t it?
Student: It smells like depressing cold and the inevitable onset of winter.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I didn’t smell anything
