Students

Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Kid #1: Number five is A, as in ‘asshole.’
Teacher: No, number five is B, as in…
Kid #2: Bastard!
Teacher: No, B as in ‘booby.’

High school
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: oh my

Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…

Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York

Girl #1: I’m not pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, good! I found out this weekend that I’m not pregnant, either.

Boarding high school dorm
Beverly, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Teacher in the hallway… like they were trying to go through this together?

Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!

Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh M.

Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!

Sydney
Australia

College girl #1: I was talking with my dad about it over break, and he said I really shouldn’t worry about it because 90 percent of women get married. But if you think about it, that really isn’t a lot. I mean, what if I’m part of that 10 percent?
College girl #2: Well, that probably includes lesbians, though.
College girl #1: Yeah! That’s right! And disabled people!

Whitehead Road
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: Did she really say that?

40-something guy: So are you working now?
Recent college grad, buying beer: What do you mean?

Mamaroneck, New York

Overheard by: An employee who knows what 'work' means b/c of these people

Male student entering Principal’s office: Someone’s been gluing pennies to the urinal again!

Arcadia, California

Overheard by: The Know It All

High school senior #1: I am thinking about taking pre-med, I just hope it's not hard. I kind of like science.
High school senior #2: Why not study business?
High school senior #1: Because in my thoughts business always fails, but science is always, like… good.

Fresno, California