Virginia

President of law firm: Well, in these tough economic times, it's great to know that there's a billable lining to every dark cloud.

Richmond, Virginia

Fat manager: I'm sweating Diet Coke and doughnuts.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Middle Manager: He wanted to talk about organic augmentation.
Boss: Did you tell him yours was large enough to be one?

2076 South Street
Quantico, Virginia

Cube rat #1: Slurpees are the best things ever. Hawaiian Punch Slurpee, man. Only second to lemonade Slurpee.
Cube rat #2: I haven’t had a Slurpee in, like, 20 years.
Cube rat #1: You’re ridiculous.
Cube rat #2: You’re gay!
Cube rat #1: Gay for my Slurpees.

12012 Sunset Hills Road
Reston, Virginia

Boss: I’m getting nailed to the wall here, guys! C’mon! I’m not Jesus Christ! Help me out!

3211 Jermantown Road
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Genevieve

Employee #1: I waxed my chest last night, and I didn’t have any more tape so I tried using duct tape.
Employee #2, laughing uncontrollably: Wait, wait, wait! I thought the punch line was “I waxed my chest last night”?!

Lynchburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike Oxlong

Worker #1: I think there must be something wrong with this phone.
Worker #2: Why?
Worker #1: Every day I check it here and it always goes out at the same time and I can’t get a signal
Worker #2: Do you always use it in the bathroom?
Worker #1: Yeah, I don’t understand why every day at the same it doesn’t work.
Worker #2: Why don’t you take it outside?

He goes outside the bathroom for a couple of minutes and comes back in.

Worker #1: See? I come back in and it’s not working.
Boss in stall: You’re surrounded by two feet of concrete in every direction! The signal can’t penetrate!

2011 Mahone Avenue
Fort Lee Virginia

Overheard by: badford

Female cube dweller: They're livin' on love. That's all Mike* and I had our first year too!

Waynesboro, Virginia

Manager: Where's Mike Love's file? I need Love by 9 o'clock!

Richmond, Virginia

Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.

Chantilly, Virginia