And Make Sure the Kids Don’t Either

Harried mom coworker on phone: Oh, and stay off the roof, and don’t play with the sulfuric acid!

Warwick Boulevard
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: Next desk over

Posted on June 30, 2023
Advice, On the phone, Virginia

It’s Only a Paradox If You Intend to Do Any of That

Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them on the windows.
Boss: Awesome.

West Creek Drive
Richmond, Virginia

Posted on June 28, 2023
Bosses and Underlings, Office Politics, Virginia

Your Editors Were Shock-G-ed to See How Long Ago That Was

Business analyst on phone: Hey, what do you need? The name of the user guide? It's the digital one… No, the digital guide. You know, like Digital Underground, only without Tupac… No, biggie wasn't in Digital Underground… Humpty Hump was… No, the guy with the gold nose… Okay, it's “h”… “u”… “m”…

Chantilly, Virginia

Overheard by: CubeRat

Posted on June 18, 2023
Body Parts, Financial Folk, Music, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Technology, Virginia

It Was Sacked During the War

Peon: Did you know there’s a Ballsville, Virginia?
Ops manager: Yeah. It’s right in this office.

400 Westfield Road
Charlottesville, Virginia

Posted on June 7, 2023
Bosses and Underlings, Questions, Virginia, Words

If I Say No, Will You Promise Not to Call Back?

Caller: I'm calling to talk to the woman I talked to last week. I can't remember her name.
(pause) I don't know…did I call the right place?

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on April 25, 2023
General Idiocy, Names, On the phone, Questions, Virginia

Is He Related at All to Barbara Seville?

Cube dweller #1: She looks like the bride of Frankenstein.
Cube dweller #2: Who’s Brian Frankenstein?

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: head:desk

Posted on April 24, 2023
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Physical Appearance, Virginia, Words

10AM Cultural Sensitivity Workshop

Co-worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co-worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.

4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Posted on April 20, 2023
Advice, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Money, Religion, Virginia

Why Sigourney Weaver Got Really Cranky During the Filming Of Alien

Animal-savvy office girl: Kangaroos are really mean.
Ordinary office girl, thoughtfully: I would be too, if someone was like hopping in and out of my stomach all day long.

Virginia