Virginia

Boss, singing: Blue and yellow! Yellow and blue! Blueeee! Yelloooooow!
Employee: Here she goes again.

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Peon #1: Did they steam clean our chairs this weekend like they were supposed to?
Peon #2: Doesn't smell like it.

Richmond, Virginia

Manager: How we doin'?
Sales rep: Good!
Manager: Good.
Sales rep: Sales are good.
Manager: Good!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Project Manager

Woman in hallway: Well, let me just lick it, put it in my mouth and drool all over it.

Stafford, Virginia

Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…

Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia

Secretary to irate victim on the phone: Well, ma'am, perhaps it would help if you could remember the name of the prosecutor who handled your case…
Irate victim: Well… I don't remember his name, but I can tell you he was the meanest son of a bitch in that office!
Secretary, sighing: Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to be much more specific than that.

Virginia

Overheard by: Nice Little Lemur Girl

Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.

1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia

Middle-aged female suit: Yeah, that place has pretty good sandwiches. Plus, there's someone there I want to fuck.

Colonial Place Office Building
Arlington, Virginia

85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?

Hotel
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Rather Disgusted

Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: I’m looking for a red wine.
Employee: Cabernet, pinot noir, shiraz?
Customer: No, I want a red wine.

1017 East Main Street
Radford, Virginia