Bosses and Underlings

Boss #1: You’re taking off for your wedding; when will you be back?
Co-worker: Two weeks.
Boss #2: Yes, and when she gets back, she’ll no longer be a virgin.

609 Reliability Circle
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Arthur Vandelay

VP: God! They’ve got you working reception? We must be really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia

Worker Bee: How many people do we have signed up so far?
Middle Manager: So far as have 35 RSTDs.
Worker Bee: Hmm, we should really stock up on more antibiotics.

1155 East 60th Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: eazy_e

Boss: Your brother is Wiccan?
Drone: Yes.
Boss: So he does magic?
Drone: He likes to think so.
Boss: And he’s not Christian?
Drone: …No.
Boss: So he can do whatever he wants? Like kill someone?
Drone: …No, he still has to abide by the laws of the land.

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario

The boss is at his desk playing a video game when a co-worker approaches.

Co-worker: Do you mind if I step outside for a moment to make a personal call?
Boss: Can’t it wait? We’re not paying you to do nothing.

510 South 52nd Street
Tempe, Arizona

Employee #1: Don’t you hate it when your anorexia kicks in?
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: When you see things backwards.
Employee #2: Dyslexia.

423 West 8th Street
Kansas City, Missouri

Secretary: Wow, this is not much work for Friday!
Boss: …Except that it’s Wednesday today.

Dogwood Ave, Building 1
Johnson City, Tennessee

Boss to assistant wearing turquoise earrings: Oh, wow, it's like cinco de mayo!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: What do you even say to that

Attorney: Well, that client is single now.
Secretary: Really?
Attorney: I’m going to have to lose 20 pounds. Bring me my pills.

415 South Ohio
Sedalia, Missouri

Boss to employee: I mean, it's not rocket scientists.

Springfield, Missouri