Bosses and Underlings

Boss to employee: I mean, it's not rocket scientists.

Springfield, Missouri

Subordinate #1, middle-aged: So, how’s your broken toe doing, [Sara]?

VP [Sara]: It still hurts, but after four tries, I finally found a pair of high heels I can stand in.

Subordinate #1: Should you be doing that yet?

VP: I have a date tonight and need to look cute.

Subordinate 2, older: You shouldn’t be wearing heels yet. You’re going to ruin your feet so that when you’re old like me you’ll be able to wear only ugly shoes.

VP: I’ll be married by then, so it won’t matter!

208 South LaSalle
Chicago, Illinois

Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.

Washington, DC

Project manager: We need to get the turnover rate for the past 12 months.
Database admin: I have that. I can give you the turnover for the past year.
Project manager: Great! We’ll also need it for the previous 12 months.
Database admin: I’m confused — isn’t the past 12 months the previous 12 months?
Project manager: Yes.

1055 Lenox Park Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Iga

Boss: How was your day?
Employee miming pointing a gun to his head: Know what I mean? But it’s over now.
Boss: My father killed himself six months ago.
Employee: Did he use a gun?

47 Catherwood Road
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: I prefer the

Boss: What's up?
Underling: Trying to dig deep, man. Make something happen.
Boss: I do that every morning around 10… Make something big happen.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Could you be anymore Michael Scott?

Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them on the windows.
Boss: Awesome.

West Creek Drive
Richmond, Virginia

Office girl arriving in meeting: Is there anywhere I can sit?
Manager: My face, but I can’t say that because I just got out of sensitivity training.

North Hollywood, California

Overheard by: I have a face too

Manager: Did you see the game last night?
Coordinator: I was drunk. [Takes bite of Oreo.]Manager: Huh?
Coordinator: Yeah, I’m drunk every day. S’matter of fact, I’m drunk right now!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Manager: It is important that you put any call through to me today — my mother-in-law is dying.
Receptionist: Is she okay?
Manager: No, she’s dying.

Davey Street
Hobart
Australia