Boss to late employee: Where have you been?
Blonde: Hi.
Boss: You look like shit today.
Blonde: Maybe that’s because I was up all night fucking!
Midtown
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jonny Z
Boss to late employee: Where have you been?
Blonde: Hi.
Boss: You look like shit today.
Blonde: Maybe that’s because I was up all night fucking!
Midtown
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jonny Z
Employee: There’s someone parked out back in my parking space.
Manager: I hate when that happens. Years ago this woman used to park in my spot all the time… She’s dead now.
Birmingham Street
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Training manager: So, how’s everything going?
New admin: Fine. Just fine.
Training manager: Are you sure? Do you need anything? Something I can help you with?
New admin: I’m sure. No, really, everything’s fine. I’m fine… I’m just going to, uh, run out to my car for a second. To, uh, grab a bottle of water. I’ll be right back [gets her things and leaves the office, never returns].
Training manager: Wow. Was it something I said?
Assistant: No, I think it was the fact that you kept staring at her boobs.
Training manager: Oh. Right.
East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Office girl with flower arrangement: Look! Look what I got!
Office manager: Wow! Where did you get those from?
Office girl: The girls that helped me chair the dinner. Oh! Look, [gushing as she reads the card], ‘From two bitches to the biggest bitch we know!’ Oh! How sweet!
Office manager: That is just so sweet of them!
Girl and manager, together: Awww!
Hanford, California
Overheard by: not one of her bitches
Attorney: Okay, I’m leaving to catch my train now — it’s Rosh Hashanah.
Receptionist: Wow! You’re a Jew, too? There are so many of you people in this office!
Big law firm
New York, New York
Boss’s wife: Is he talking about having a harem again?
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Manager to room of trainees for upcoming audit: Today’s training has been cancelled, because I have something better to do.
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elementary Geek
Manager: We really need some good ideas that senior management can throw darts at.
Underling: Hmmm…
Manager: Yeah, they don’t know what they want, but they’ll know when they see it. Then they’ll have something to throw darts at.
San Diego, California
Manager: Man, you guys from Alabama are hard-core putting someone getting the chair on the back of your quarter.
Boss from Alabama: That’s not someone getting the chair — that’s Helen Keller!
Manager: You guys electrocuted Helen Keller?!
Campus Point Drive
San Diego, California
Information technology director to management team: You know me – I’m not real technological.
125 S Congress Street
Jackson, Mississippi
