Coworker to receptionist: Yeah, that's her in the picture. I recognize the triple chin. I bet she's a secret dominatrix or something.
Overheard by: crosberg
Coworker #1: Ugh. I don't feel like being at work today.
Coworker #2: I know. Don't you ever wish you could just fall out of bed in the morning and break both your legs so you could take a sick day?
Marketing girl #1: Everything south of us is an hour ahead right?
Marketing girl #2: Ummmmm… No. Everything east of us is an hour ahead.
Marketing girl #1: But Florida is south of us, and they are an hour ahead of us.
Marketing girl #2: (blank stare)
Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.
Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.
Rt 31, Illinois
Coworker #1: What does he wear?
Coworker #2: He usually wears moccasins and tight pants.
Coworker #1: Tight pants? What is a moccasins? Oh my god! He wears those?
Hotel guest: I started taking that Trimspa about a month ago. I haven’t lost any weight, but my chest is huge!
State and Division Street
Overheard by: Sara G
Cube monkey: My brain is unlike that of any mortal! It consists of witchcraft, spells, and ideas for pastries that the world has yet to see!
1750 East Golf Road
Overheard by: Emily
At the end of Take Your Kids to Work Day…
Bruno*: Everything is askew! Where’s my weedbag? I’ve got some quarters missing. Damn thieving kids.
222 North Lasalle
Fat nurse: I’m real excited! I’m going to the Mexican Riviera next month.
Lanky nurse: Uh, isn’t it called the French Riviera?
Fat nurse: No, I think it’s Mexican, but you could be right — that sounds familiar.
Lanky nurse: I’ve always wanted to see the French Riviera.
Fat nurse: Yeah, me too. I can’t wait.
Overheard by: dr mike