Developer: Is “buttload” hyphenated?
New guy: No, I think it's just one word.

Corner of State & Water
Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…

Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.

Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois

Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch

Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.

33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Stubby Boardman

Lady #1: … But he’s drunk all the time.
Lady #2: Everyone’s drunk all the time. I might be drunk right now!

8140 Lehigh Avenue
Morton Grove, Illinois

Overheard by: Amanda

Sleazy office manager: She’s got it going on! I’d fuck the shit out of her in a heartbeat! Oops, I should probably close the door.

30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.

Chicago, Illinois

Female cube dweller to male cube dweller: You are soooo gonna get it tonight!

Chicago, Illinois

Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You're right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.

Chicago, Illinois

Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.

N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: The Temp

Developer, cleaning out fridge: Wow, I've never seen pink mold before!

Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…