Project manager: Because of their dependencies, these two projects should be run in parallel.
CEO: Yeah, we need to paralyze them. Good idea, Ted*!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lila
Project manager: Because of their dependencies, these two projects should be run in parallel.
CEO: Yeah, we need to paralyze them. Good idea, Ted*!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lila
Mother: They’re trying to hold him back again. He’s been in preschool twice already. Preschoolers are dull and boring!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Stylist on phone: Oh, I gave you the wrong phone number…. So is that like a fact-smile? A fact-smile. It says here the fact-smile number is 312-555-1234*.
South Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: waiting for a haircut
Supervisor: Different day, same shit.
Employee: That’s my favorite saying! “Different day, same shit.”
Supervisor: We probably shouldn’t swear; I don’t want to offend the customers.
Employee: Probably.
Supervisor: You know what my favorite saying is? “Fuck that!”
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Boss: Wait, I have a question: they’re fucking retarded!
Underling: That’s actually not a question…
Boss: Whatever, they’re still fucking retards.
13546 Rockland Road
Lake Bluff, Illinois
Overheard by: Victa G
Female employee: Man, I’m soo busy today. Why is everyone taking advantage of me?
Male employee: I dunno.
Female employee: Oh well, maybe I just let people take advantage of me. It’s just easier that way.
Male employee: Some advice: don’t ever say that in a bar.
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Chicago, Illinois
Female worker about to take a walk: You sure you don’t want to go with me?
Male worker: No.
Female worker: I’ll go topless.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Glad I’m not leaving my cube for another hour
Customer: What country are you from?
Tech: I’m from England, ma’am.
Customer: Oh. Did you know Princess Diana?
Tech: No, sorry. I’m afraid I didn’t.
Customer: What about Paul McCartney?
Circuit City
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: Chris
Boss: Did I forget to tell you that we will be open this Monday? I decided not to close the office after all.
Employee: For what?
Boss: It’s Labor Day, and I was going to close the office, but decided not to.
Employee: It’s not Labor Day! Memorial Day is this month, but not until the end of the month.
Boss: It says right here on my calendar it’s Labor Day. I thought it was weird that Labor and Memorial Day were in the same month.
Employee: Let me see that calendar. . . Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?
Boss: Ummm, yeah.
Employee: That means Labor Day for Mexico!
Boss: No kidding! Wow, I feel really stupid!
Employee: Yeah, you should! Happy Labor Day, Senorita!
4302 West Crystal Lake Road
McHenry, Illinois
Overheard by: Gramma
CSR to manager: Sometimes there is a fine line between making people happy and getting them to shut up.
1300 Arlington
Itasca, Illinois
