Marketing professor: How many countries are in Africa? I’m going to go around the room, and each of you give me a number.
Student #1: 50?
Student #2: 62?
Student #3: 54?
Marketing professor to sorority girl: How many do you think?
Sorority girl: I thought Africa was a country.
Peoria, Illinois
Man, buying lottery ticket in liquor store: If I win this, the old lady can cut back to part time.
725 W. Golf Road
Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Overheard by: I didn’t win either
Suit #1: I am about finished writing up the policy on policies.
Suit #2: Uh huh.
Northwestern University, 2020 Ridge
Evanston, Illinois
Employer walking into the office: President Clinton is downstairs on Wacker Drive, but I think you girls will be safe if you just stay inside.
150 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Advertising executive: Here are my recommendations: A. Can we simplify this? B. Consumers are stupid.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: writer and consumer
Project manager: Because of their dependencies, these two projects should be run in parallel.
CEO: Yeah, we need to paralyze them. Good idea, Ted*!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lila
Mother: They’re trying to hold him back again. He’s been in preschool twice already. Preschoolers are dull and boring!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Stylist on phone: Oh, I gave you the wrong phone number…. So is that like a fact-smile? A fact-smile. It says here the fact-smile number is 312-555-1234*.
South Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: waiting for a haircut
Supervisor: Different day, same shit.
Employee: That’s my favorite saying! “Different day, same shit.”
Supervisor: We probably shouldn’t swear; I don’t want to offend the customers.
Employee: Probably.
Supervisor: You know what my favorite saying is? “Fuck that!”
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Boss: Wait, I have a question: they’re fucking retarded!
Underling: That’s actually not a question…
Boss: Whatever, they’re still fucking retards.
13546 Rockland Road
Lake Bluff, Illinois
Overheard by: Victa G
