Worker #1: Congratulations on your engagement and your new job! When is your last day?
Worker #2: Next Wednesday, thanks.
Worker #3: Are you leaving so soon because of that pooper ring on your finger?
Worker #2: “Pooper ring”?
Worker #3: Yes, you know…You had to take it in the pooper to get a ring that big.
1600 21st Street NW
Washington, DC
Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.
1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
Coworker: Whoever invented coffee was amazing!!
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: thought God did that?
Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.
110 Wall Street
New York, New York
Male worker to female lunch companion: See, the good thing about you is that you can really pack it in. I mean, most girls can’t do that.
12th and G Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: i like to eat too
Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Boss: Whoever invented cheese is a great American.
Coworker: Cheese wasn’t invented by an American.
Boss: Well, whoever did invent it should be made an American.
Austin, Texas
Salesperson to another: Wow! I like your new pants? (pause) Do they fit you?
Plattsburgh, New York
Office worker: Do you know what that meeting was about?
Manager: Nope.
Office worker: But, what did we talk about?
Manager: Don’t know, don’t care, anyway, the cookies were nice.
Office worker: They were, weren’t they?
Bezuidenhoutseweg
The Hague
The Netherlands
Overheard by: bewildered
Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.
1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California
