Female employee: Are you limping?
Male employee: Yeah, I tore my ass muscle again.
Female admin: Just stop right there, I don’t want to hear anymore.
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
Female employee: Are you limping?
Male employee: Yeah, I tore my ass muscle again.
Female admin: Just stop right there, I don’t want to hear anymore.
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
Bookstore clerk: Prose? I thought that was a kind of poetry.
Bookstore, Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Customer: Wow, you must be in high demand this time of year.
Employee: I guess so.
Customer: Oh, I meant the store. Not you.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: party rental stores are no party
Boss: How are your parents?
Worker #1: Fine, thanks for asking.
Worker #2: My parents are fine, too, thanks for asking!
Boss: I’m happy to hear that. When both of my parents were in the hospital at the same time, it was really hard on our whole family.
28th Street & 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Employee #1: Is this Sammy’s* or yours?
Employee #2: I think it’s Sammy’s.
Employee #1: I don’t want to shuffle everything off to him since he’s on vacation.
Employee #2: No, he’s not here… let’s screw him!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Employee: My friend ate a penis once… but not in a sexual way. It was a Romanian specialty dish or something like that.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: prefekt
Peon: I wanted to show you this order. I think someone dropped the ball.
Sales associate: Let’s see whose order it is…Oh, it’s Ryan’s*. And he’s out this week.
Peon: Uh-oh.
Sales associate: See what happens when you go on vacation? Your balls get dropped!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Local public radio reporter: Nurse Smith* is reponsible for the health of over 2,000 students in the school district, but she seems to know many of them individually and calls them by name as she passes them in the hallway.
School nurse, to kids: Hey, guys.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Employee #1: I don’t think she got fired.
Employee #2: Yeah, but when they cleaned out her computer they found the search terms “anal, Ann Coulter” quite frequently.
18 Passaic Avenue
Fairfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: thanks for blocking aim, douchebags
Employee: I had more security before when I worked for the manager that died.
Grocery store
Sarasota, Florida
Overheard by: Not Buying Meat
