Employees

Employee girl: Hey, can I have your pickle again today?
Employee guy: I was wondering when you were going to ask for it. Where do you want it?
Employee girl: Here is fine. (to receptionist) I always eat his pickle.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Cubicle Dweller

Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.

West Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?

27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California

Overheard by: Jake Glazier

Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.

Manhattan, New York

Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I'll be dead by then!

Santa Barbara, California

Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It's so good!
Grad student: I don't think I've had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it's made from hemp or something. I wonder if it's okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don't know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You'd be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!”
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?

Employee #1: It's okay, don't worry about it. Carmen is gonna get them eventually.
(long pause)
Employee #2: It's “karma,” dumbass!

Hawthorne, California

Overheard by: thanks, carmen.

Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.

Friendly's Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey

Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.

Staten Island, New York

Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy

Cube monkey: Why do things that happen to stupid people always happen to me?

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess