Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?
27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I'll be dead by then!
Santa Barbara, California
Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It's so good!
Grad student: I don't think I've had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it's made from hemp or something. I wonder if it's okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don't know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You'd be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!”
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?
Employee #1: It's okay, don't worry about it. Carmen is gonna get them eventually.
(long pause)
Employee #2: It's “karma,” dumbass!
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: thanks, carmen.
Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.
Friendly's Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey
Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.
Staten Island, New York
Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy
Cube monkey: Why do things that happen to stupid people always happen to me?
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Office worker: Do you know what that meeting was about?
Manager: Nope.
Office worker: But, what did we talk about?
Manager: Don’t know, don’t care, anyway, the cookies were nice.
Office worker: They were, weren’t they?
Bezuidenhoutseweg
The Hague
The Netherlands
Overheard by: bewildered
