Travel agent: Where were you looking to take a cruise to?
Client: Do they have cruises to Las Vegas?
Proctor Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: potitia
Travel agent: Where were you looking to take a cruise to?
Client: Do they have cruises to Las Vegas?
Proctor Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: potitia
Employee: Can I help you find something?
Female customer: No…Actually, yes. I can’t find any CDs by Devo.
Employee: Hm. What genre?
Girl: I would say rock, but…
Employee: D-I-V-O?
Girl: No, D-E-V-O.
Employee: That sounds really familiar. Let me go take a look. [Starts to turn]Girl: Yeah, “Whip it!” [Makes whip crack motion]
Employee looks hurt and oblivious as he walks away.
1515 West Highway 114
Grapevine, Texas
Employee #1: Dave*, you’re what, 27? You’re too young to get married. You need to wait until you’re 35 and then marry a 23 year old. Birthing is just “bam! bam! bam!”– brutal on them. So you need to marry young.
Employee #2: So I need to work here for 8 years and marry a girl who is just graduating from here?
Employee #3: Start looking, man. She’s in high school now.
Employee #2: She’d be what, 15? Hey, Jim*, how old are your daughters?
Employee #1: 13 and 15…Shut up!
3800 Victory Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
Rep on phone with trucker: You do know you can’t drive your rig into the ocean, right? That’s bad…Oh, okay. Well, I hope you have a nice view.
1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Brandon, Mississippi
Voice over the PA: If you see people in camouflage running around with guns and hear explosions, it is okay.
Hall Drive
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Zarbettu
Customer: Can you draw something on the cake for me?
Employee: Sure, what do you want on it?
Customer: A dick.
Employee: I can do you one better. We’ve got these chocolate-covered bananas, and chocolate-covered cookie dough balls. I can put an edible, chocolate-covered dick and balls on your cake.
Customer: Fucking awesome!
Manager, walking in: Uh, what are you doing?
Employee: Making a dick cake.
Manager: Woo! Makin’ a dick cake!
Ben & Jerry’s, East Village
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sam
Library patron: Do y’all know where this book is?
Library employee: Try looking by periodicals.
Library patron: Who?
100 Decatur Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Jebediah
Co-Worker on phone: I feel like seeing a movie. Okay, what’s it called?…Who wears Prada?…Fidelo?
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Warehouse worker: You look nice today. You going somewhere after this?
Girl in dress: No, I just wanted to air out my vagina.
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: warehouse peon
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
