Employees

Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.

Friendly's Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey

Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.

Staten Island, New York

Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy

Cube monkey: Why do things that happen to stupid people always happen to me?

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Office worker: Do you know what that meeting was about?
Manager: Nope.
Office worker: But, what did we talk about?
Manager: Don’t know, don’t care, anyway, the cookies were nice.
Office worker: They were, weren’t they?

Bezuidenhoutseweg
The Hague
The Netherlands

Overheard by: bewildered

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer:
Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.

Denver, Colorado

Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.

Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ReRo

Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it's on fire. It's not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don't think any blood's coming out.

Redmond, Washington

Cube dweller on phone: Hahaha… yeah, I can just imagine them literally chasing you around, and smearing you with that stuff!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: I don't want to get smeared

Cubicle rat on phone: I expect a white man to lie to me, not a black guy.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Greg