Employees

Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?

California

Guy behind counter, looking at something on the floor: I don't know what it is, but it's gooey…

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chris Who Isn't Dead

Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?

117th St
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: The other nerd

Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.

Hot Topic
West Virginia

Overheard by: oh dear

Eager presenter: We need people who can walk the talk and live the walk.

Kirtland, Ohio

Overheard by: street smart, no street genuis!

Assistant: Oh my god, your caulk is dripping!

5001 East Harry Street
Wichita, Kansas

Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn

Coalinga, California

Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”

Aspen, Colorado

Boss: Okay, before we cross that Rubicon … Wait, does everyone know what the Rubicon was?
Minion: Yeah! It's the brain!
Boss: (blinks) Okay… Anyone else have a guess?

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: veni vidi deridei

Office drone: I'll have to tickle myself for that…

Ojai, California

Overheard by: IntellectualWhore