Vacation

Coworker #1: Did you have a good vacation?
Coworker #2: Of course! Is there any such thing as a bad vacation?
Coworker #3: Well, my friend fell off a train once… in Thailand.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jessie

Mail room employee: Where's Jane*? I haven't seen her in two weeks.
Lawyer: We let her go on vacation and she won't come back.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: law lady

Diner #1: I don't think you want to increase your vascular output for a snake bite.
Diner #2: So no Viagra.
Diner #3: Why would anyone take Viagra hiking?
Diner #2: To keep from rolling out of the tent.

Oak Ridge, Tennessee

Coworker #1: Hey, how’s it going?
Coworker #2: Good, how’re you doing?
Coworker #1: Not bad — it’s almost Friday.
Coworker #2: It is Friday!
Coworker #1: Really?! It’s Friday? That’s awesome! I thought it was Thursday!
Coworker #2: It’s Friday for me — I’ve got tomorrow off.

10750 Wheat First Drive
Glen Allen, Virginia

Woman: …and the doctor was like, “I’ve never seen so much wax in one ear before!”, and I was like, “Can we just get on with this already? I’m on vacation in Hawaii!”.

1745 Broadway
New York, NY

Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.

909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Barnstable

AP manager trying to decide on a vacation destination: I don't get it: why do you need a passport for Mexico but not Hawaii, when Mexico is just right there and Hawaii is a 16-hour flight?!

Midtown
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: facepalm

Agent: So you went to Virginia Beach on your vacation?
Manager: No, I went to West Virginia.
Agent: Oh. Where’s Virginia Beach? In East Virginia?

10243 Genetic Center Drive
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Cat

Server #1 : So…yeah, I'm going on a cruise to Hawaii.
Server #2: Oh, wow, where are you leaving from?
Server #1: Florida.
Server #2: That's a really long cruise.
Server #1: No, it's not! They're practically right next to each other!

Twinsburg, Ohio

Loud chick: Why bother callin' it a vacation day when you can just call in sick?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane