Vacation

Woman: …and the doctor was like, “I’ve never seen so much wax in one ear before!”, and I was like, “Can we just get on with this already? I’m on vacation in Hawaii!”.

1745 Broadway
New York, NY

Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.

909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Barnstable

AP manager trying to decide on a vacation destination: I don't get it: why do you need a passport for Mexico but not Hawaii, when Mexico is just right there and Hawaii is a 16-hour flight?!

Midtown
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: facepalm

Agent: So you went to Virginia Beach on your vacation?
Manager: No, I went to West Virginia.
Agent: Oh. Where’s Virginia Beach? In East Virginia?

10243 Genetic Center Drive
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Cat

Server #1 : So…yeah, I'm going on a cruise to Hawaii.
Server #2: Oh, wow, where are you leaving from?
Server #1: Florida.
Server #2: That's a really long cruise.
Server #1: No, it's not! They're practically right next to each other!

Twinsburg, Ohio

Loud chick: Why bother callin' it a vacation day when you can just call in sick?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Boss: You want a raise? You come back after three weeks of vacation and spend more time in the bathroom than you do working. Maybe I should install a timeclock in there.

107 Chesley Drive
Media, Pennsylvania

Male coworker: My lips are still recovering from Vegas.

San Diego, California

Coworker #1: Don* sent me flowers today.
Coworker #2: Why did Don send you flowers? Did your grandma die again?

16th and K Street NW
Washington, DC

Boss: Could you tell me what your holiday vacation is going to be?
Employee: I will be taking 2 weeks off as I am having a problem with my vagina.

5 minutes later: a group email asking everyone to please email their schedule.

1755 Riverside Drive
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia