Coworkers

Worker #1: Must be nice to have so much time to put up all these friggin christmas decorations.
Worker #2: You have time. You just never decorate.
Worker #1: That’s right, everyone knows not to touch my area. I’d be pissed if they did.
Worker #2: Hmm…wait till tomorrow, I think I’ll piss you off with some holiday cheer.
Worker #1: Go ahead, I’ll just take it down. What a waste My husband does that crap at home too!

3949 Jefferson Road
Ashtabula, Ohio

Co-worker #1: [Steph], I never believed the stereotype about blonde women until I met you.
[Steph]: Thanks!

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi

Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.

901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California

Co-worker #1: Hey [Rachel]: you’re not a math person, are you?
Co-worker #2: Why, because I have breasts?

1014 Boswell Avenue
Crete, Nebraska

Co-worker #1: And with my right hand out of commission, you know what I figured out I couldn’t do last night?
Co-worker #2: Uh…
Co-worker #1: Yeah.

175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio

Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.

8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California

Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?

25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia

Co-worker #1: It’s such a nice day today, I’ll have lunch au naturale.
Co-worker #2: Thanks for the warning.

40 West 57th Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: I don’t want to drive you home; it’s way out of my way. Just take the company van home.
Co-worker #2: If I had a dick I would tell you to suck it.
General Manager: Hey, not in the office.
Co-worker #2: You too.

839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut

Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.

1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson