PM: Hey, Craig*, can you [makes weird slurping noise]?
Craig: No thanks, I’m married.
PM: I don’t know what that means.
191 Oak Plaza Drive
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
PM: Hey, Craig*, can you [makes weird slurping noise]?
Craig: No thanks, I’m married.
PM: I don’t know what that means.
191 Oak Plaza Drive
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker: I have one word for this project: absolutely ridiculous.
111 Huntington
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker: It’s easy to determine who needs to take a sexual harassment class; just ask the person if “harass” is one word or two. If they say two, they need to take the class.
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Not the guy who needs the class
Coworker: I didn’t mean to diss Madonna! It’s just that I feel at this moment in my life, I’m over her.
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Coworker #1: Hey, can you cover my shift next week?
Coworker #2: Why? Where are you going?
Coworker #1: My friend’s boyfriend is graduating from pharmacology school.
Coworker #2: Ew. Who would want to be a farmer?
3900 Hillsboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Employee #1: How many innings are in a baseball game? Eight? Ten?
Employee #2: Are you serious?
Employee #1: Yeah. C’mon, how many?
Employee #2: Eight. Why do you want to know?
Employee #1: I’m talking to this girl and I just told her she’s struck out at the bottom of the ninth, and then I wrote, “even though there’s only eight innings in baseball.” Ha ha.
Employee #2: Did you send the instant message?
Employee #1: Yeah.
Employee #2: There’s nine innings in baseball.
215 Glenbrook Road
Storrs, Connecticut
Overheard by: trying to contain laughter
Coworker: Not only am I an asshole here, I’m an asshole at home, too!
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
Database administrator #1: You can either spend half a day showing them how to do it and another three weeks constantly answering questions, or you can just take half an hour and write the code for them.
Database administrator #2: Well, we should teach them how to fish instead of just feeding them every day!
Database administrator #1: You can teach them how to fish, but they still won’t know how to write code.
880 Carillon Parkway
St. Petersburg, Florida
Coworker: Sometimes I just go out to the warehouse dock and stand on the edge and think about jumping.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Have you been to Joey’s*? It’s awesome.
Coworker #2: Not in a long time. Not since it was a deli.
Coworker #1: Oh, you should go. They have those big hooba wooba pipes…Hooba booba…Hooba hooba pipes?
Coworker #2: Do you mean hookas?
Coworker #1: Yeah.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
