Coworker on phone: I’ll meet you down at the corner. Bring me anything you have that is SpongeBobby or princessy.
East Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker on phone: I’ll meet you down at the corner. Bring me anything you have that is SpongeBobby or princessy.
East Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
Male coworker wearing striped shirt: Hey, nice shirt — we match!
Female coworker: Oh, yeah, we do.
Male coworker: We could do a dance or something. We already have matching costumes.
Female coworker: Or we could strip!
Male coworker: [Laughs nervously and walks away.]
Massachusetts
Coworker: Well, we think we’ll put them on leashes at the airport, because what if they get away from us? Nobody will know who we are, and nobody will know who they are.
Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts
Lady: Hey, Derek*, will you let me paint your toenails?
Man: Will you give me a blowjob?
Lady: … Sure.
Man: Do the blowjob first.
3301 North Mulford Road
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: what office is this?
Lady: They’re going to have fish, chicken, whips, whatever.
440 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker in middle of parking lot, screaming into cell: You can admit to having your dick in my ass, but you can’t admit to that bitch you love me?! You bastard!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Coworker in lunchroom: I don’t know whether that’s insulting to gay men or female women.
Des Moines, Iowa
Coworker #1: You look pensive.
Coworker #2: Well, I’m trying to come up with a new cliché.
Delaware
Cube dweller: I still don’t know if that was a man in a costume or a real nun that was grocery shopping!
Buffalo, New York
Coworker: I used to have a bunch of little beanbag Kermit dolls that got progressively blinder because I used to rub them against my chin and wear down the marble eyes.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Annabelle Nightingale
