Coworkers

Plus, They’re Doing Amazing Things with GPS These Days

Indian woman: I gave my 11-year-old son his introduction to sex last night.
White woman: Uh… What did you do with him?
Indian woman: I explained to him everything he needed to know. It’s part of our traditions.
White woman: You explained to him about orgasms, and where the clitoris is?
Indian woman: Oh, yes, and I was quite surprised to find out how much he already knew.
White woman: Such as…?
Indian woman: He told me he knew what the G-spot was, and how to find it.
White woman: Where would an 11-year-old boy learn about things like that?
Indian woman: From his friends. Many of them have sisters and mothers who they have seen in the nude.
White woman: Well, uh, good luck.

DMV office
Westbury, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Doctor, We’ve All Developed These Murderous Impulses

Old coworker: You don’t know anything about the Beatles.
Young coworker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.

90 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Shaun G

I Already Have Your Address

Cashier #1: I don’t understand why people act like such assholes to us, you know?
Cashier #2: Because they know we can’t say anything back.
Cashier #1: But… for all they know we could be mentally unbalanced and one little comment from them could send us over the edge, and we could get their addresses and hack them into pieces one night.
Cashier #2: I’m telling my mama not to go through your line no more, you crazy bitch.

Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina

Overheard by: MB

Although Osteoporosis Is a Close Second

Coworker #1: I wonder who’ll get the Pfizer account…
Coworker #2: I hope I do! I love reading about erections!

Fort Point
Boston, Massachusetts

I’m Way Better at It Than Jack Is

Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?

Williamsburg, Virginia

No More Sleeping Under Bridges with Teenagers?

Employee: Everything about my life sucks right now! I need to go home, and I need to have a shower, and I need to get laid by someone who knows what he’s doing for once, and then I need to go to bed.

Sackville
New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Been Feeling a Bit Queer All Day

English coworker: I’m just going outside to suck on a fag.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: James

I Still Have Half a Savior Left from Yesterday

Male peon #1: Does anybody want anything from the vending machine?
Female peon: Bring me back some Jesus!
Male peon #2: I’ll just take a ginger ale.

Boston, Massachusetts

I, Um, Think I’m Late for a Meeting

Trashy coworker: Don’t ya hate when you’re on the rag and your husband rolls over in the night with a boner, wantin’ to poke ya?

Franklin Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Violet White

So at Least She’s Being Safe

Colleague, about her cat: Ever since I got those balloons delivered to my house on my birthday, she’s really been into rubber.

Yonge Street and St. Clair Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

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