Male coworker: All I hear is, ‘Yap, yap, yap, I’m cold, yap, yap, yap, I’m a woman.
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Erin
Male coworker: All I hear is, ‘Yap, yap, yap, I’m cold, yap, yap, yap, I’m a woman.
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Erin
Disembodied voice: Yeah, I had him for five months — a big ol’ black boy. He had a toilet paper fetish.
Capital of Texas Highway
Austin, Texas
Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
Lady #1: Is your husband feeling any better?
Lady #2: No, but I am getting better at avoiding him and ignoring him.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Valley girl: I could not believe it — they were showing her vah-jay-jay over and over.
Office bathroom, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Maintenance man #1: Oooh, my date last night had some fine titties.
Maintenance man #2: Yes siree, when we hooked up I loved me some of them.
Maintenance man #3: I’ve seen better than hers. [Gesturing to passerby] Look at those. But I guess I’d have to see them naked to really compare.
Office building, House of Representatives
Washington, DC
Incompetent project manager, after asking redundant questions: Um… Are you going to charge this time to my project?
Competent cube dweller: Oh, yeah, I’m gonna charge this! I’m gonna charge the fuck outta this project!
940 6th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Employee to another: You’re down on your hands and knees eating a banana. How do you not know what that symbolizes?
Route 209 and Weir Lake Road
Brodheadsville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: CW
Coworker #1: Did you drive or take the train today?
Coworker #2: Train.
Coworker #1: What time are you leaving?
Coworker #2: I don’t know…
Coworker #1: Oh, I think I’m leaving before that.
Office building, 47th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Garbage man to another: I was driving a truck on the on-ramp and I seen a naked guy runnin’ alongside the freeway. I yelled at him, ‘Yeah! Way to go! Naked people are cool!’ It wasn’t like it gave me a chub or anything.
Garbage company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the dispatcher whose heard it all
