Peon #1: So, how’s that burn on your arm?
Peon #2: It kind of looks like prime rib.
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Peon #1: So, how’s that burn on your arm?
Peon #2: It kind of looks like prime rib.
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Office assistant #1: Oh, I see you got braces. Congrats. But aren’t they awfully expensive?
Office assistant #2: Yeah, but it’s worth it… At least my future children will have straight teeth!
Moscow
Russia
Coworker #1 on phone: No, no, I would never say anything to anyone about that.
Coworker #2, as other hangs up: About what?
Coworker #1: Don’t worry, you already know.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Doesn’t know
60-year-old coworker: I wanna go in the back door.
Supervisor: Okay…
60-year-old coworker: I really like going in back doors.
801 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Porter
Lady peon: Okay, who put these condoms on my desk?
101 West 31st Street
New York, New York
Male cube rat: I need a word that rhymes with ‘vaginal.’
Female cube rat #1: Why?
Male cube rat: I’m writing a poem.
Female cube rat #1: What kind of poem has the word ‘vaginal’ in it?
Male cube rat: Don’t interrogate me. Just help me out.
Female cube rat #2: This poem isn’t about me, is it?
Male cube rat: I’ll bet Alfred Lord Tennyson didn’t have to put up with a bunch of fucking questions.
Insurance company
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Sales guy: That guy wouldn’t be in a good mood even if you woke him up with porn and ice cream.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Worker bee: Seriously, you just should not name your dog after a rapist…
Medical office
Florida
Overheard by: The DM
Male to female coworkers: Do you want to have an insertion party? I mean, do you need some help?
1000 West Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker: Can I get the first initial of your last name?
Insurance rep: ‘C’ as in ‘pussy.’
Coworker: I’m sorry — ‘C’ as in what?!
Insurance rep: ‘C’ like ‘pussy.’ You know — pussycat.
Doctor’s office
Dallas, Texas
