Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.
Paterson, New Jersey
Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.
Paterson, New Jersey
Employee #1: There was a mouse in the hall. Did you kill it?
Employee #2: No, it’s just an animal. All it wants to do is find food and propagate the species.
Employee #3: Kind of like me.
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Loki
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Admin #1, screaming: I'm toothless! I'm toothless! My bridge fell out. It fell under my desk!
Admin #2 to admin #3: We can only hope it was her front teeth.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: hellbitch
Intern #1: Yeah, well… my dog isn't like the nicest person ever.
Intern #2: Yeah… Mine isn't either.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: still wondering if they were serious.
A supervisor walks up to the back of a free-standing file cabinet.
Supervisor: How do I open this?
Employee: You go around to the front and open the door.
8 King Road
Rockleigh, New Jersey
Presenter: People never want to see Loss Prevention until they need them. But we’re friendly. Like the police in your town. I mean, don’t you think the police in your town are your friends?
The class stared back at him blankly.
10 Mountainview Road
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey
Coworker, angrily: I can't help it if I care! I have a soul.
Boss: Leave it in the car on your way in.
Outpatient Mental Health Facility
New Jersey
Overheard by: Peon
Female grad student: I think I lost the sperm, and I'm not even sure what the sperm looks like.
Carl Icahn Laboratory, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: my experiment's not that fun
Male worker: She's off, her mother just died.
Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.
Deli
New Jersey
Overheard by: waiting in line
