CSR: I feel bad though that I’m leaving — I really like it here.
Manager: Oh, don’t feel bad. We got our money’s worth out of you.
Supervisor: Uh.
Manager: Um, I know, that sounds bad, huh. What I mean is that we, as a company, would much rather hire smart people who leave after two years than stupid people who stay here for, like, forty.
CSR: Thanks?
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Suit #1: Why is the boss laughing like that?
Suit #2: She’s reading the staff’s self evaluations.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Director: Thanks for all your help on that project.
Peon: No problem…It’s not like I had a choice.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
VP Sales: I’m big on giving it all up to the client. You know, easy access.
Peon: I’ve heard that about you.
716 Main Street
Boonton, New Jersey
Suit: We don’t need to do that right away, we can do it tomorrow.
Boss: We should do it today. Why put off until tomorrow what we can do today?
Suit: I was thinking about killing you yesterday.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.
2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chuck Roast
Marketing Manager: We have to prepare for the unexpected. For example, there was the one time last summer when AT&T went down on me for five painful hours, and there was just nothing we could do about it.
111 River Street
Hoboken, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.
1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson
Co-worker #1: What’s SAS like?
Co-worker #2: It’s sassy!
600 Alexander Park
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Cynics
Coworker #1: Is Corey supervising tonight?
Coworker #2: No. Look. See, he doesn't have pants on.
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: He Does Have Nice Legs.
