Copywriter: I was accosted by a woman with a French accent at the mall at lunch today.
Art Director: Really? How odd.
Copywriter: Yeah, she buffed my nails and I purchased her product. Only now am I remembering the accent as being fake.
Art Director: I had a run in with the cops over lunch.
930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Manager #1: I don’t feel like working today.
Manager #2: So why don’t you go home?
Manager #1: ‘Cause I don’t get paid to do nothing at home….
3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Cathie
Chair: The beauty of this meeting is that we don’t need to make any decisions.
2000 Navy Pentagon
Washington, DC
Operations manager: This chart really gets into the details if you're interested.
Assistant director: I don't think we really need to go into all the sausage-making details.
Director: Yeah, I've seen way too much sausage.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Worst part? No one else laughed.
Manager: Okay, are we all here? Good. Let's flash Tom*. (picks up the phone and hits the star button)
Confernce Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: We really need a third forklift driver.
Warehouse manager: Well, it's even worse now. One of them just died.
Boss: Holy shit. That throws a fucking wrench in things.
Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Director: I feel so bad for Sarah!
Intern: Who?
Director: Sarah, from [xyz] Corp! She got fired!
Intern: Oh, that's terrible.
Director: I feel so bad! And she only has one arm!
New York City, New York
Sad boss: I'm sure there are a lot of normal people here, just not in this department.
Hartford, Connecticut
Boss: Whoever invented cheese is a great American.
Coworker: Cheese wasn’t invented by an American.
Boss: Well, whoever did invent it should be made an American.
Austin, Texas
