Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.

11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Paul

Manager on phone: Yeah, I’ve got a little apartment on the gay side of the French quarter. Sometimes in the morning I have to beat them off to get out my doorway.

4621 West Napoleon Avenue
Metairie, Louisiana

Overheard by: PeauxBoy

Coworker #1: Yo, I need a shredder for all my junk mails that I get. I get mad junk mail at home.
Coworker #2: You print out all your junk e-mail?!

27th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Michael

Lawyer on cell: Why do you call me when you’re trying to name your cats, but you don’t call me when you’re served with a subpoena?

509 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Cube dweller #1: She looks like the bride of Frankenstein.
Cube dweller #2: Who’s Brian Frankenstein?

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: head:desk

Co-worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co-worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.

4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia

CSR: Ma’am, my system is backed up and my computer is going down on me.

300 Rosewood Drive
Danvers, Massachusetts

Man: It’s not my fault the guy was a fucking idiot… It may have been my fault that I told him, though.

New Street Station
United Kingdom

Overheard by: I would have told him, too

Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.

33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Stubby Boardman

Co-worker #1: Hey, [Eric]. I know what I’ll get you for Christmas.
[Eric]: Oh yeah? What?
Co-worker #1: Some wifebeaters to wear with white shirts so I don’t have to see your boobs through the shirt anymore.
Co-worker #2: All right…I’ve heard enough about [Eric]’s manboobs.

839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut