Gripes

Co-worker #1: I just can’t get enough sleep. My mom wakes me up yelling that I get too much sleep, then I drive to work and almost fall asleep!
Co-worker #2: Uh huh.
Co-worker #1: Doesn’t she understand I need my sleep? She’s driving me crazy.
Co-worker #3 [from down the hall]: Why don’t you go to bed earlier, when she puts your jammies out?

6200 Savoy Drive
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Frankendude

Attorney #1: I stepped on a baby bird this morning on the way into the courthouse.
Attorney #2: The jokes are right. We don’t have souls.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Boss: I need to hire someone, but I need that person to be unexperienced, so that they don’t stupidly think they know what they are doing here before I train them.
Underling: Wait, then why did you hire me? I knew what I was doing when I started here.
Boss: You are the reason I now require people to be unexperienced. I couldn’t train the arrogance and stupidity out of you.

800 East, Utah State University
Logan, Utah

Overheard by: tm

Assistant #1: Did you get out for lunch today?
Assistant #2: I did! It was so nice out I didn’t want to come back.
Assistant #1: I think we should all get medals for making it back to work after lunch
Assistant #3: Or a straightjacket.

345 Park Avenue
New York, New York

Brit #1: What the fuck is her problem anyway?
Brit #2: She’s doing that thing.
Brit #1: What thing?
Brit #2: That Canadian thing where they pretend to be all nice because they’re from Canada when really, [putting on Canadian accent] they’re just, like, totally backstabbing dipshits, eh?’ I mean what kind of idiots would settle in a place where it hits minus 30, anyway?

V Parku
Prague, Czech Republic

Worker: I like my shirt, but I’m afraid my boobs are going to fall out. Which would be fine somewhere else, but not here. That’s how I feel about all my clothes: “great for not here.”

3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Employee #1: Kinda ridiculous that a George Foreman mini-grill is able to take down power for half of the floor.
Employee #2: Dude, you’re grilling in the office and you’re going to talk about what’s ridiculous?

1899 L Street NW
Washington, DC

Co-worker #1: How do people get mirrors to stay on the ceiling?
Co-worker #2: Not sure.
Co-worker #3: We used rubber cement. We put up a few four foot square mirrors, without frames.
Co-worker #1: Rubber cement? Did it hold good?
Co-worker #3: They’ve stayed up for four years, but my husband is too afraid to have sex without being covered with a blanket. He thinks they might fall and cut his dick off.

4150 Belden Village Street NW
North Canton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kyosho

Portfolio Manager: She’s pissed that I didn’t sell the stock before it
went down.
Trader: Don’t you know that you are supposed to know when that’s gonna
happen?
Portfolio Manager: I guess not…

1900 East Ninth Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Manager: We need to be ducked-rowed here as there will be a lot of scrutiny given we’ve had the opportunity to reoutlook the schedule twice now and yet the schedule continues to slip.

229 8th Street SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia