Gripes

PVC worker: Hey [Neil], I don’t mean to sound like a pussy, but I just cut my finger off.

1000 Eden Valley Road
Golconda, Nevada

Cube #1: It’s so cloudy out today; is there an Armageddon scheduled that I didn’t know about?
Cube #2: I think it’s supposed to rain.
Cube #1: Well, since you’re closest to the window it’s your responsibility to inform the rest of us if the rain contains a plague of locusts. Tough break, but that’s the responsibility that comes with good cubicle location.

1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona

CCA: My Excel’s not working.
Manager: I don’t care.
CCA: What should I do if my Excel’s not working and you don’t care?
Manager: Call the Ghostbusters.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Account Manager: I totally disagree with this, with every fiber of my being.
Creative Director: Wow, thats a lot of fiber.

720 East Pete Rose Way
Cincinnati, Ohio

Agent: Can you believe that? I totally lied to her face and she had the gall not to take it as the truth!

5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia

Worker: What?
Boss: What?
Worker: Were you talking to me?
Boss: No, to myself.
Worker: Sorry.
Boss: How dare you eavesdrop on a conversation I’m having with myself!

8403 South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Mary H

Employee: Do you always have to act like a child?
Manager: This company is all about innovation. And studies have consistently shown that the most innovative thought comes from the ages of five and under.

31601 Pacific Hwy South
Federal Way, Washington

Accountant: Could you call and get someone to come and service our coffee machine?
Receptionist: Sure! What’s going on with it?
Accountant: The hot water tap just tastes like regular tap water.

1625 North Palafox Street
Pensacola, Florida

Marketing: Oh my god, I don’t know what is going on with this, but I swear, I had to look up so many big words while I was doing this thing; Like…”ire“? “Emu“? What the hell are these?

421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana

Colleague: You can’t pay to stuff that. I mean, that’s a handjob at best.

1150 City View Street
Eugene, Oregon