With a Name Like Oral Roberts, It’s Hard to Be Otherwise

Coworker: Yeah, I call my husband the ‘Pentecostal Pervert’! He married me when I was 13.

UC Davis Hospital
Davis, California

Posted on November 7, 2025
Age and ageing, California, Coworkers, Gripes, Religion, Sexuality, Words

Um, I Was Distracted?

Man screaming into cell and gesturing at the wall: I’m beneath the fucking girl with her fucking panties around her ankles! How could you miss me?!

Outside civil courthouse
Miami-Dade, Florida

Overheard by: also standing beneath the coppertone ad

Posted on November 6, 2025
Creepsters, Florida, Gripes, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Possible Sexual Harassment

Which Is Why Her Boyfriend Had to Resort to Botox

Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’

7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?

Posted on November 5, 2025
Bosses and Underlings, Colorado, Couples, Family, Financial Folk, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Words

The Litter Box Next to the Bed Might Be a Mistake

Female employee: I don’t mind thinking I’ll be a creepy cat lady. I just don’t want to be a creepy virgin cat lady.

Crosspoint Boulevard
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on November 3, 2025
Animals, Employees, Gripes, Indiana, Sexuality, Wishes

Everyone Was Relieved When Emo the Magnificent Finally Checked Out

Professor: It smells like fall, doesn’t it?
Student: It smells like depressing cold and the inevitable onset of winter.

Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I didn’t smell anything

Posted on November 1, 2025
Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Compliments, Gripes, Massachusetts, Sensory Experiences, Students, Teachers, Weather

Usually If You Hate the Jews, You Just End up Getting Slapped on the Wrist for a DUI in Malibu

Teen boy: Did Walt Disney hate the Jews?
Teen girl: No, I don’t think so. I mean, that’s not why he died or anything.

Harper Road
Clemmons, North Carolina

Overheard by: Po

Posted on October 24, 2025
Death, Gripes, North Carolina, Questions, Religion, Students

No, I Quit Because None of Them Were Prostitutes

Male administrator: So, are you a prostitute?
Female administrator: Excuse me?
Male administrator: It’s a line from that movie, Monster.
Female administrator: You can’t just go around saying things like that to people.
Male administrator: Oh. Well, I used to do it all the time at my old job.
Female administrator: Is that why you’re not working there anymore?

Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC

Overheard by: the fly on the wall