Designer: I’m bored and all the bathrooms are full.
605 Lakeview Drive
Springdale, Arizona
Overheard by: so what?
Designer: I’m bored and all the bathrooms are full.
605 Lakeview Drive
Springdale, Arizona
Overheard by: so what?
Mid-life crisis coworker: Hi, this is James*. You remember me? Good. Well, I was just calling to tell you that there’s lettuce on my bagel, and I ordered no lettuce, no tomato, and this is the third time this has happened. You guys make great food, but this is unacceptable and I thought you should be aware of your error.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
Peon to another at two-hour mark in meeting: I’d poop in my chair if I thought it would make this meeting more interesting.
Lakewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Couldn’t have hurt — mighta helped
Chick: What is this, pedophile music?
Munkegata, Oslo
Norway
Waitress: And so the guy from the health department says we have, like, one day to get this shit cleaned up or he is shutting us down. Oh my god, he’s right! Look at all this crap in the bottom of the ice… [As two customers walk in] Oh, hello. Two for dinner?
Diner
Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Manager: I purposefully wore pants with strategically large pockets for the cowbell, but it still got stuck.
72 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: deep pockets
Contract attorney: Ann Coulter? She looks like a bag full of antlers.
575 7th Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Daniel
Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
Female coworker: Well, I guess I hadn’t thought it out so thoroughly.
Male coworker: Yeah, and the hookers were like, ‘Woo-hoo, market share!’
Chevy Chase, Building 4
Maryland
Overheard by: Xen
