Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Co-worker #1: I don’t like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that’s freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That’s why I don’t like space.
250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut
Worker #1: Must be nice to have so much time to put up all these friggin christmas decorations.
Worker #2: You have time. You just never decorate.
Worker #1: That’s right, everyone knows not to touch my area. I’d be pissed if they did.
Worker #2: Hmm…wait till tomorrow, I think I’ll piss you off with some holiday cheer.
Worker #1: Go ahead, I’ll just take it down. What a waste My husband does that crap at home too!
3949 Jefferson Road
Ashtabula, Ohio
Co-worker #1: Hey [Rachel]: you’re not a math person, are you?
Co-worker #2: Why, because I have breasts?
1014 Boswell Avenue
Crete, Nebraska
Marketing Manager: We have to prepare for the unexpected. For example, there was the one time last summer when AT&T went down on me for five painful hours, and there was just nothing we could do about it.
111 River Street
Hoboken, New Jersey
Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.
1775 Broadway
New York, NY
District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying “Bachelor’s Degree”?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were “Bastard’s Degree.”
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn’t think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you’re right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
Flunky #1: The internet is broken.
Flunky #2: What’s wrong?
Flunky #1: I can’t get to any sites.
3001 Broadway Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Co-worker #1: You’re really getting good at that.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, but I keep thinking the little running chef in
BurgerTime looks disturbingly like Jim Cramer.
Co-worker #3: Can’t you at least pretend you’re working?
250 West 55th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: MadMoney
