Gripes

Co-worker: Ew, I just walked through someone’s fart cloud.

4575 Ruffner Street
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Olivia Gomez

Manager: [Ben], just go ahead and reserve two spots for me.
Assistant #1: Did you just say [Jeffrey]?
Manager: What? No, I said [Ben].
Assistant #1: Well, I heard my name.
Manager: ‘Cause youre a narcissist! [Ben], don’t you think he’s a
narcissist?
Assistant #2: I plead the Fifth.
Manager: C’mon [Ben], don’t be a pussy!
Assistant #2: I’m going to be a pussy! I’m new!

270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY

Boss: We’re having communication problems.
Underling: We are?
Boss: What?

18115 Campus Way NE
Bothell, Washington

Overheard by: cogalicious

Co-worker: Did you know every conversation we have in here, we aren’t supposed to have?

Sullivan Barracks
Mannheim, Germany

Partner #1: The real cute one?
Partner #2: Yeah.
Partner #1: Yeah, she’s married.
Partner #2: Damn it!
Partner #3: That’s how I like ’em. cute, and married.

222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Tits McGee

Boss: Where the fuck is my breakfast? Why hasn’t it been delivered yet? I’m not even hungry anymore, I could have raised my own fucking chicken for the eggs and planted my own fucking orange tree by now.
Worker: You didn’t order anything with eggs.

135 West 36th Street
New York, NY

IT: My vibrator doesn’t work; I think it’s worn out…On my phone! On my phone! The vibrate function on my phone doesn’t work! Oh, god.

140 Research Boulevard
Madison, Alabama

Overheard by: map ref 41n 93w

Clerk: I’m startin’ the day with two “ah, shits” and not an “atta boy” in sight.

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Manager: You could sit in my office since I am dialed in, but I just got over the crud so maybe that is not such a good idea. Why don;t you go down to the Alpha Room?…No, scratch that. Those guys went
to Taco Bueno for lunch and I am not sure that is such a good idea. Maybe you just better dial in from your office.

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Physical Therapist: How are you today?
Patient: No good.
Physical Therapist: That’s too bad. Why not?
Patient: Because I would rather eat my own foot off than talk to you.

275 South 5th Avenue
Pocatello, Idaho