Co‐worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co‐worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.
4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Co‐worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co‐worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.
4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
CSR: Ma’am, my system is backed up and my computer is going down on me.
300 Rosewood Drive
Danvers, Massachusetts
Man: It’s not my fault the guy was a fucking idiot… It may have been my fault that I told him, though.
New Street Station
Birmingham
United Kingdom
Overheard by: I would have told him, too
Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.
33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Stubby Boardman
Co‐worker #1: Hey, [Eric]. I know what I’ll get you for Christmas.
[Eric]: Oh yeah? What?
Co‐worker #1: Some wifebeaters to wear with white shirts so I don’t have to see your boobs through the shirt anymore.
Co‐worker #2: All right…I’ve heard enough about [Eric]‘s manboobs.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Staffer #1: Well, thanks, everyone, for not telling me my fly was open.
Staffer #2: Your fly was open?
Staff #1: Yes. I just now looked down, and there it was, wide open! You didn’t notice?
Staffer #2: Well, I don’t spend a large portion of the day staring at your crotch.
Staffer #3: Yeah, I only do it during our morning update meetings.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston‐Salem, North Carolina
Employee: We just need the style guide to spell out everything, in complete detail. It’s mainly for like, legal reasons; to cover our bases.
Intern trainee: Oh. So I guess it’s like how blow‐dryer labels say “do not put in mouth while in use.” Not like it’s a pressing issue, but there’s always that one retard that’s gonna fuck shit up.
Employee: Uh…sure.
Intern: OK, cool. As long as I’m getting this.
777 San Marin Drive
Novato, California
Overheard by: Max Guevara
Executive #1: You go first.
Executive #2: Why?
Executive #1: I always go first…I don’t know what your problem is.
Executive #2: I don’t have a problem; why can’t you just go up the stairs first?
137 Ocean Avenue
Lakewood, New Jersey
Co‐worker #1 walks by [Seth].
Co‐worker #1: Hi!
Seth: …
Co‐worker #1: Yo, what’s the deal with [Seth]? That guy is a straight up tower shooter.
4 Airport Park Boulevard
Latham, New York
Overheard by: Nathan
Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: mshorty
