Manager: I purposefully wore pants with strategically large pockets for the cowbell, but it still got stuck.
72 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: deep pockets
Manager: I purposefully wore pants with strategically large pockets for the cowbell, but it still got stuck.
72 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: deep pockets
Contract attorney: Ann Coulter? She looks like a bag full of antlers.
575 7th Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Daniel
Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
Female coworker: Well, I guess I hadn’t thought it out so thoroughly.
Male coworker: Yeah, and the hookers were like, ‘Woo-hoo, market share!’
Chevy Chase, Building 4
Maryland
Overheard by: Xen
Woman #1: Well, we were stupid back then. We thought cracking your knuckles was cool — we didn’t realize it could lead to arthritis.
Woman #2, taking a drag on her cigarette: Yeah, we just didn’t know.
7715 Chevy Chase Drive
Austin, Texas
Man: Why are you allowing a day spa? I didn’t think you allowed day spas in this town. When you have day spas you attract people who get facials, and we don’t want those kinds of people in this town!
Redlands City Hall
Redlands, California
Boss: I’m not the one who brought up fucking a goat.
Minion: I was explaining the hazards of his job.
Bend, Oregon
Black woman on cell: All he did was look at my vagina, and I owe him 300 dollars?
Federal Credit Union, 2nd Avenue and Chestnut Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Suit #1: Hey, you always participate in the office Volunteer Day events. You did the March of Dimes Walk earlier this year. Are you going to paint the homeless shelter next month?
Suit #2: No. I did the March of Dimes Walk because the babies can’t walk it. The homeless can paint their own shelter.
32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Coworker to boss: I’m starting to feel like not being nice and not being so understanding to Jennifer*. You’ll either have to give me a pep talk about politeness in the workplace, or give me permission to be a bitch.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: End of the Rope
