Gripes

Specialist: He thought it was “unfair” that we’d charge him a fee for cashing out his certificate before the maturity date.
Boss: He’s lucky he was talking to you. I’d have told him, “I had to put my cat to sleep last night; that’s unfair.”

2929 North Mayfair Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Sales: You quoted 3 different prices to this customer.
CEO: You’re not calling me an idiot, are you?
Sales: I’m saying that having been given all the facts you made 3 incompatable decisions.
CEO: That’s sufficiently blameless.

12819 Coit Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Worker #1: Oh my, I hate these elevators. You never know what you’re gonna get, kinda like those roller coasters. You know, they really have a mind of their own.
Worker #2: Yeah! And then you have these crazy doors, too, where you need to do the karate chop to make them stay open. And you do it and you say to yourself, “Oh heavens, this is one karate fight I’m not gonna win!”

1450 Broadway
New York, NY

Worker: [The boss] treats me like I’m his little daughter or something. That’s a lot of pressure. I can’t be perfect all of the time.

180 East Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California

Girl: So Friday’s your last day?
Guy: Yeah, I’ll be working closer to home. I have an hour long drive to get here from my house.
Girl: Good thing you’ll be working closer to home. Traffic will suck your soul.

800 South Douglas Road
Coral Gables, Florida

Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.

2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chuck Roast

Plumber #1: So what about Jeanette?
Plumber #2: She pisses me off, man. That bitch pisses me off so much I want to cut her into little pieces. You know what I mean?
Plumber #1: I know what you mean.

Translated from the Spanish.

145 East 35th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Spooner

CSR on phone: Sir, would you mind slowing down just a little bit?You’re really giving me a lot of information, and it’s not really
registering in my brain because I’m still trying to type in all the
other crap you told me.

5129 Beverly Glen Village Lane
Norcross, Georgia

Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.

220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Analyst #1: I hate going into that lunchroom when the people from claims are in there having a potluck.
Analyst #2: I know, it’s like the bar scene in Star Wars.

4645 East Cotton Center Bouelvard
Phoenix, Arizona