Airline worker: I'm clear at gate 20 and that flight attendant is a bitch.

Denver International Airport, Colorado

Overheard by: Headed toward the Flight Attendant

Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I’m accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that’s great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don’t like traveling because it’s so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That’s okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can’t travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate ’cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won’t get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything…but you could always re-apply.

6500 Matalin Place
Louisville, Kentucky

NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don’t give a shit what I say!

19 University Place
New York, NY

Coworker #1: Did you have a good vacation?
Coworker #2: Of course! Is there any such thing as a bad vacation?
Coworker #3: Well, my friend fell off a train once… in Thailand.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jessie

Coworker #1: Has anyone ever been to Hoover Dam?
Coworker #2: No, but I hear that the Canadian side is much better than the American side.

Pendleton, Indiana

Overheard by: Watching for invading Canadians

Lady coworker: I don't like the direction “west.”

Dallas, Texas

Coworker #1: I went to the black rodeo.
Coworker #2: Black rodeo?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all the cowboys are black.
Coworker #2: Ohhhhh…where was that?
Coworker #1: Alabama. They had mini cows.
Coworker #3: I think those are baby cows…calves.
Coworker #1: I thought they were premature big cows.
Coworker #3: What the fuck is a premature big cow?

Dallas, Texas

Canadian: Is there anything I should know about Cuban business customs before we get started?
Translator: No.

Girl with tray of espressos walks in and hands one to each person.

Canadian: I don’t drink coffee.
Translator: You do today.

Cuban Health Ministry
Havana, Cuba

Overheard by: Drank the coffee

CSR: You're from Canada?
Employee: Yep.
CSR: I love it there. I went to Montreal once. It was really nice. I haven't been to Quebec yet, though.

Montclair, New Jersey

Female coworker: What did you bring me from El Salvador?
Make coworker: Nothing. I used all my money for sex.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jaquanda