Coworker #1: How was your trip?
Coworker #2: I ate guacamole.
Coworker #1: Oh! I love guacamole!

Montclair, New Jersey

Overheard by: Crying Inside

50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?

Wayne, New Jersey

Intern on phone: Uh-huh, yeah. We're staying with the nuns. Apparently you pray for an hour and then you can sleep there. I know.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Man: I’ve heard that you’ve been to New York before and tried to be a stripper there.
Woman: Yeah, I’ve taken my ass back now.

Shanghai, China

Receptionist: I found out that I can't go to Disney World because I have a paper due that week and I don't want to miss 100 points.
Boss (who is rather overweight and old): That is really too bad but I mean, I'll go in your place.
Receptionist: Only if you get Mickey Mouse ears and go to the castle and have dinner with the princesses.
Boss: Sure. I'll be the best fucking princess those bitches have ever seen!

Bellingham, Washington

Middle-aged woman: Are you going anywhere for the holidays?
Elderly man, clearly disappointed: No–I'm not up to traveling this year.
Middle-aged woman, excitedly: Good for you! Save those carbon credits!

Penn Quarter
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Jonathan

Secretary: That’s what my sister did. They went to Niagara Falls and got married by a midget.

Uniontown, Ohio

Employee #1, scanning the New York Times online: There was an election party for Ahmadinejad last night.
Employee #2: Oh, did you go?

Manhattan, New York

Office on phone: No. I do not want to take a shuttle bus to Uruguay. I will not sit next to a chicken.

Woburn, Massachusetts

Coworker, seeing guy in the hall: Hey, Jeff! Aren't you in China?

Plainsboro, New Jersey