Suits

Corporate suit: They were wearing, like, you know, trashy Old Navy golf shirts.

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Overheard by: Wow.

Suit on cell: I went across the street to the Chinese/Thai food place for lunch, and not everything afterwards went according to plan. I've spent enough time in the bathroom this afternoon to finish reading a book. I know you weren't necessarily dying for that information, but that's the reason this took me a while to finish. I will still be billing two hours to this, though, even though it took a bit longer.

Manhattan, New York

Suit walking out of office: No, I don't want to do that. I'm far too pretty to go to prison! (whole office stops and stares at him) I just said that way too loud, didn't I?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Scotty

Suit on cell: I’m going home and changing into shorts. It’s so hot out there I need to throw up.

Washington Mutual
Livermore, California

Overheard by: Stephen

Suit #1: Well, what about Harry*? We could put him on the local board. He has a lot of connections around the city.
Suit #2: Wait, didn’t he just get out of prison?
Suit #3: Eh, he’s paid his debt to society. Plus, I’m sure he’s looking for a job.

Conference room
New York, New York

Lackey: So that’s your wife, huh?
Suit: Yep.
Lackey: She’s a grade-school teacher?
Suit: Yes.
Lackey: She looks like that one that had sex with her thirteen-year-old student.

275 West Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.

Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Joe

Businesslady: Where the hell is my charger, did I leave it at the office? I thought I put it in, but…Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to myself.
TSA lady: Well, that’s OK, Sugar. Sometimes we have to talk to ourselves because we’re the only ones who can understand.

Sky Harbor Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Female suit: So I was on the elevator with him, and had to explain to Roger Ailes why I was in a bra and panties.

FOX News Headquarters
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Newsbunny

Suit: We are going to have to leverage everything in order to shift gears.
Employee: What?

615 Third Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Dwight Scott