Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.
Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Middle-aged female suit: Yeah, that place has pretty good sandwiches. Plus, there's someone there I want to fuck.
Colonial Place Office Building
Arlington, Virginia
Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s not my project
Suit hanging up phone: I am so done with married chicks — they have too much baggage.
3250 42nd Street
New York, New York
Suit #1: I’m going to need that project done for Monday. Can you get on that right now?
Suit #2: It’s Friday, and I have beer to drink. It’s really going to have to wait.
4881 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
Admin: Hey, Simon Wiesenthal died! Who’s he?
Suit: Oh, he hunted Nazis or something. Cool!
Admin: Cool that he died?
Suit: Cool that he’s in my dead pool!
1600 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: C. O’ntracter
Businessman: You know, it’s so nice when you have nice pants. You want to go out of your way to do things.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Suit #1: So, I heard they put you up at the Ritz in Seattle!
Suit #2: They did! I stayed there over the weekend. It was so nice…
Suit #1: Gangsta, son, gangsta.
Suit #2: That’s how I roll, homie.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Amused
Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P-O-R-T-S-M-I-T-H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.
Hotel
Kowloon, Hong Kong
China
Overheard by: Embarrassed American
Boss: I am not going to repeat myself… I said I am not going to repeat myself.
Suit: You just lost all credibility.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
